“Is he expecting your call?”
“No.”
“One moment please.”
There was a long pause, and then, “I’m sorry, but Mr. Wild is busy at the moment. You can leave your number and perhaps he’ll call you back when he’s less busy.”
I closed my eyes as a painful breath escaped me. “No,” I said. “There’s no need.”
I walked home, the key to Jason’s apartment burning a hole in my bag. I wanted to scream at him and demand he tell me what was going on, but I resisted the urge to go to him.
For one day…and then one more.
By Saturday, I couldn’t take it anymore. My heart was breaking, and it felt like all my cells were in a constant state of panicked motion, hurtling and crashing against each other and leaving me almost too weak to function. I pulled on tights and a long sweater then slipped my feet into walking shoes. I planned to walk until I was exhausted, but at the door, I turned back and took Jason’s key out of my purse.
I walked all the way, barely noticing the early morning quiet around me. I passed a few joggers, and someone barely missed bumping into me with his plastic cups of coffee. I apologized and kept moving.
In the lobby of Jason’s building, it was Vince behind the desk. He smiled and inclined his head, and I waved. In the elevator, I had to fight memories—Jason’s kisses, his teasing.
What the fuck was happening?
I let myself into the apartment. I wasn’t sure I’d find him, but I knew I wanted to confront him, to make him explain, at least—and if he didn’t, I’d walk away and find something to occupy myself with until he was ready to let me know what was going on. I was sick of hanging in limbo.
He wasn’t in the living room, kitchen, or den. I made my way to the bedroom, and he wasn’t there either, but his bed had been slept in. I was about to go to the study, but something drew me into the room. I walked past the bed, trying not to think of all the nights I’d spent there with him. I moved across the room and opened the door to the walk-in closet.
Jason was standing in front of a row of my clothes. He drew his fingers along the sleeves of a dress I’d worn once when we went out for dinner, and I heard him sigh.
I took a step inside the room, and he turned to face me. He frowned and blinked, as if he wasn’t quite sure I was really standing there.
His hand dropped from the garment. “What are you doing here?” His voice was careful and even.
I stared at him, unable to believe the words he was saying to me. “Why are you avoiding me?” I cried, so frustrated I could barely keep myself from screaming.
He walked to the other side of the closet. He was wearing pants, but his chest was bare. I watched him pick up a soft gray t-shirt. He didn’t pull it on. He just stood there, his back to me.
I stared at the wall of solid muscle, and it was like a physical demonstration of the past week. I was beating against a solid wall while he faced away from me, unwilling to let me in.
“You’re going to have to explain,” I said evenly, trying not to cry. “You’re going to have to tell me something.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I shouted. I went over to him and shoved at his back.
He turned to face me but still said nothing.
“Why won’t you talk to me?” I was pleading now, but I didn’t care. I was ready to beg.
He caught my hands and held them away from him. “You should go home,” he said.
“Home? Where, Jason?” I cried. “Just a few days ago, you were asking me to move in here with you. This fucking closet is full of my clothes, for God’s sake.”
“I’ll have them sent over.”
A scream built in my throat and I wrenched my hands from his grip. “What did you say?” His silence enraged me further, and I shoved his chest again, my eyes blurry with tears. “What did you say?” My voice broke on the words. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe through lungs that felt scorched with pain. “You’re ruining me,” I whispered. “You’re tearing me apart.”
His eyes closed. “Daphne, I can’t…” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
I placed my hands on his chest. Under my palms, his skin felt warm and familiar. I could swear I felt him tremble. “Please tell me what this is about.”