I blinked. “I must be dreaming,” I muttered to myself. I searched his face. He looked tired and drawn. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He sighed. “I already said there’s nothing wrong. Leonard will—”
“Stop it!” My voice rose. “I can find my own way home!”
“Daphne—”
“No!” Tears blurred my vision. “Don’t. Don’t talk to me. You don’t get to ask me to leave then act concerned about how I get home.”
I turned on my heel, and he followed me back to the living room. I opened the door and turned to face him, more confused than ever at the pain I saw on his face.
“Jason…” I watched as his face shuttered again, setting up an unbreachable wall between him and me.
I stepped out of his apartment and shut the door behind me.
I tried not to cry as the elevator took me to the ground floor. The doorman at the desk looked surprised to see me leaving, and I ignored him, rushing out of the building. Outside the doors, a few feet away on the curb, Jason’s black SUV was already waiting with Leonard standing by the door, ready to drive me home.
I ignored him and started to walk, feeling somewhat guilty as the older man ran to catch up with me.
“It’s too far to walk all the way,” he said matter-of-factly.
I stopped and faced him. “What happened to him?” I demanded, almost ashamed to have to ask someone else what was going on with the man I loved.
“I don’t know,” Leonard replied gravely, not meeting my eyes.
A gust of wind blew, and a few drops of moisture landed on my skin.
“It’s going to rain in a bit,” he said gently. “Let me take you home. My only other choice is to walk all the way with you, and I’m an old man.”
“You’re trying to blackmail me, Leonard,” I said, smiling shakily through my tears. “And I could get a ride, you know.”
“Pretend that’s what I am.” His smile was almost fatherly, and it made me want to cry and maybe hug him for the comfort I so dearly needed. Not wanting to embarrass myself, I hurried to the car. Leonard somehow got there before me and opened the door, letting me into the cool interior that smelled unbearably like Jason.
I stayed quiet for the few short minutes it took to get home. I felt lost, like I was floating in a sea of confusion. How had Jason gone from the person I’d spent the weekend with to the man I’d just left? It made no sense.
The car stopped, and I pushed open the door and slid out.
“Take care now,” Leonard said.
I lifted my hand in a weak wave as I walked toward the entrance of my building, and he waited till I was safely inside before driving away. As I went upstairs, I wondered how many women he’d dropped off just like that when his boss was done with them.
I shook my head. The idea that Ja
son was ‘done with me’ was something I couldn’t accept. He loved me. He was mine. There was no reason to doubt his feelings for me.
Except that he just threw you out of his home.
I ignored the hateful reminder and wandered around my apartment, unsure what to do. I considered calling Amy, but I couldn’t bring myself to share my worries for fear they’d become real.
I showered and got ready for bed. I listened to Jason’s old messages on my phone. I finally fell asleep and dreamed of Jason showing me a ring then slamming a door in my face, over and over again.
I was dying, at least that was how I felt, like a knife was inching toward my heart and the longer I went without hearing anything from Jason, the closer it came to bleeding me out.
“Janice says hi,” Candace said one afternoon. We were having lunch close to the office. I really wasn’t hungry, but it helped to get out of enclosed spaces. “She wants to know if Jason is open to attending more of her parties and reading any more poems?”
I tried to smile. “It was more of a one-time thing.”
“I told her that,” Candace said. “He’s really something, though. You should keep him.”