He gave me a knowing look. “Dirty girl.”
“I know.”
He lips lifted in that crooked smile I loved, and he reached across to stroke my face. “I don’t ever want us to fight.”
I was quiet. I knew I shouldn’t push it, but I couldn’t act as if his mother’s desire to be a part of his life was nothing, not when I would give almost anything for just one word, one day with my own.
“There are things you should at least try to make me understand,” I said.
“Fair enough.” He nodded. “When I was in college, I found out where my mother lived. I went to L.A and tried to talk to her. She never picked up her phone, so I went to her home in one of those artist communes…” He made a face. “I knocked on her door with my heart in my mouth. I was finally going to see my mother again. She was finally going to tell me why she left—at least that’s what I thought would happen.” He laughed bitterly.
“What happened?”
He shook his head. “It was like I was a little boy again, missing the mother who used to paint colorful paintings I didn’t understand but loved anyway.” He paused and looked at me. “She knew who I was. I didn’t have to introduce myself. She took one look at me, and it was like…like I was her worst nightmare. She said she wanted nothing to do with me, told me not to come back.” His eyes watered as he remembered, and my heart broke. “It was the worst fucking day of my life,” he finished with a shrug.
I stared at him, my eyes watering, unable to believe that any mother would do that to her son. “I’m so sorry. Jason, I can’t…I’m sorry.” I got up and went to put my arms around him, hoping to provide even a small measure of comfort to make up for the pain I’d forced him to remember.
Chapter Eight
“Thanks for coming with me,” Amy said nervously, sucking in a breath through her teeth. We were seated at one of the arrival lounges at the airport, waiting for Colin’s flight to arrive.
I could tell she was anxious. She kept scrolling through her phone and tapping her free hand on her knee. In a way, I understood why she felt like she had reason to be as she hadn’t seen Colin for almost three weeks, but I knew if anybody had any reason never to be nervous about her relationship, it was Amy.
“Hey look,” she said. “Jason posted on his Insta. It’s a picture of you.”
“Seriously?” I frowned and unlocked my phone, launching the app and tapping on the notifications. It was the only social media app I used with any regularity. My bio was limited to my work as an assistant editor at JH publishing, and my posts were usually image-quotes from books I loved and books we published.
Jason had one of those verified profiles with zero posts and no followers at all. He wasn’t big on social media.
Yet, I saw a notification from him, which led to the picture he’d posted, which he’d tagged me in. It was a sweet black and white of us at the beach house where he’d told me he loved me. He was kissing my neck, and I was smiling. He’d captioned it “Happiness.”
An absurd amount of happiness coursed through me and I smiled. “Wow!”
“Awwww,” Amy trilled. “It’s so sweet! You two are so perfect together.” She stopped and frowned. “Did he ever talk to you about his mother?”
I sighed. “He did, and now I understand why he feels the way he does. I feel bad that I ever pushed the subject at all.”
“I told you he would tell you when he was ready.” She shook her head. “It’s not an easy topic for him.”
From the loudspeaker, the announcer called out another arrival, and we looked at the big screens where the numbers were displayed. Amy started tapping her hand again, and I covered it with mine.
“Relax,” I told her. “Everything will be fine.”
“I know.” She smiled weakly. “I’m just so nervous.”
“I can see that, but I don’t know why. You guys talk every day. I’m sure you have nothing to be nervous about.”
“I don’t know. Three weeks is a long time. What if he’s changed? What if he met someone more…English? What if there was a meet-cute on the plane and now he’s met the real love of his life? A movie star.” She gave me a droopy frown then chuckled. “Okay, I know that’s ridiculous. My mind just keeps drumming up irrational fears, and I can’t stop it.”
“Those fears are so that when you finally see him, the change from anxiety to happiness is much more dramatic,” I said. “It’s nature’s way of making sure you stay in love with him.”
Amy frowned. “Is that true?”
“I have no idea.” I shrugged. “I just made it up because my roommate is fretting unnecessarily about her perfect, one-in-a-million boyfriend.”
She chuckled. “Thanks. It good to laugh about it.” There was another announcement over the speakers, and she got up. “He’s here.”
“Come on, Amy. Have a seat. It’ll take a while before he gets through the customs people. Just relax.”