She’s missed this as much as I have.
I brace one hand on the door, groaning when she grinds her hips against mine.
Jesus I want her.
Suddenly, she’s pushing away from me, tearing her mouth from mine with a low moan. Her chest rises and falls, and she steps as far away from me as the door behind her will allow.
“You should leave,” she whispers. “Please leave.”
“Why?” I’m beginning to feel like I’m being tossed around in an unfamiliar sea. I don’t understand what the hell is going on. She’s not in love with Weyland. She wants me. So, what’s the problem? “Rachel, you want this.”
She shakes her head, denying the truth I can see.
I don’t understand.
“Rachel.” I keep my voice calm and reasonable. “I want you, and I know you want me. I’m not going to walk away from this.” She doesn’t reply, and I run a hand through my hair, frustrated beyond words. “Just tell me what you want from me.”
She shakes her head. “You keep saying you want me, Landon—for what, exactly? Just sex? Indefinitely?”
“This means a lot more than sex and you know it.” She starts to shake her head again but I touch a finger to her cheek, stilling the movement. “As long as we both want each other this much, why does it have to end?”
She pulls in a shaky breath. “I don’t want you.”
I know she’s lying, but why?
“I already said I won’t go anywhere until you stop lying to me.” I search her face. “Rachel, this thing we have…”
“Landon,” she interrupts. “I don’t want a thing. I don’t.”
“So, you want something more serious? Some sort of commitment? A relationship?” I’ll take any arrangement that makes it so I can be with her. “Rachel, that’s fine. We can have that if it’s what you want, but it’s crazy to keep thinking of excuses why we shouldn’t be together.”
“A relationship?” She studies my face. “And that’s all?”
I’m being tossed around that unfamiliar sea again. I hold up my hands. “What else is there?”
She glares at me. “You’re willing to let me be a small part of your life, to go out with you once in a while and be seen with you. That’s what you call a relationship, isn’t it? Then when you’ve had enough of the sex—which is what this is really all about—that will be the end, won’t it?”
I stare at her, not even close to comprehending. “God! I don’t understand you. What the fuck do you want?”
“I can’t do this,” she says, her voice odd and shaky. “I can’t… Just go away, Landon. Just leave me alone.”
I’m more confused than I’ve ever been in my life, and the reason for my confusion looks as if I’m the one causing her pain.
Go home, Landon.
I turn on my heel and stalk away, leaving her standing there, watching me go.
Chapter 19
I’m going to forget all about her.
There’s work to be done, a company to run. I will not spend my time obsessing about someone who, for reasons she chooses not to share, has decided she’s better off without me.
I spend a day in San Francisco, and when I return, I attend one of the rehearsals for Aidan’s play. Afterward, he joins me for dinner.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on with Rachel?” he asks midway through our meal.
“What makes you think there’s anything going on?” I grumble.