“I lost my head for a moment.” I’m trying to explain the inexcusable. This fight should never have happened. I close my eyes. “Thinking about you with him…remembering you two having that cozy moment at the lounge the day I returned from New York…it makes me feel…” I search for the right words.
Her eyes close, and she places her head on my chest. I breathe. When she faces me again, there’s a light of understanding in her gaze. “Jealous? Possessive?” She supplies the words I’m seeking.
“Crazy…enraged?” I add with a bitter chuckle.
She rests her head on my chest again, breathing slowly. I stroke her naked back, tempted to pretend everything is all right and our arrangement hasn’t turned out to be a disaster.
“Landon.” She meets my eyes again. “You weren’t…we weren’t supposed to feel anything at all.”
“No.” I take a deep breath. “We weren’t.”
I don’t want to let her go, but after a few moments, she pulls away. She’s naked, with only her bra hanging below her breasts. Without thinking, I unfasten it and let it join her dress on the floor.
We both stand in silence facing each other. There are things I want to say, but I don’t know how.
I don’t want us to end like this.
Neither does she.
She comes to me and links her arms around my neck. There is a determination in her eyes, and tenderness. She pulls my face down toward hers, bringing her lips to mine.
Ah, Rachel.
My arms tighten around her.
She’s mine.
For now.
Carrying her to her room, I make love to her with a gentleness that comes from deep inside, with a desire I can’t articulate. Later, I wait until she’s asleep then I leave, saying a silent goodbye to our time together, and to her.
Chapter 14
“I’m calling to see how you are. Friends do that, you know. Check on each other occasionally.”
“Hmm.” I’m in my office in New York, listening to Ava’s voice on speaker, but my attention is on the black velvet box on my desk, containing the jewelry I gave Rachel in San Francisco, which she just had delivered to my office.
“How are you, Landon?”
“I’m fine, Ava.”
There’s a pause. “Are you seeing anyone?”
I frown. Knowing Ava, it’s not a blind question. She heard something. “Why do you ask?”
She chuckles. It’s a breezy, tinkling sound. “Maybe I heard something.”
“Maybe you should stop keeping tabs on me.”
“I don’t have to. You know that. People make it their business to tell me things about you.”
“Then maybe don’t listen.”
“How could I not? I care about you.”
“How’s Henri? Or is it Pierre? Or John? Notice my lack of knowledge about the details of your love life, Ava?”
She laughs. “If you want to know who I’m sleeping with, you can always ask me.”