She tries to pull her hands from mine, but I can’t let her go.
“I knew all that, but I’ve never allowed myself to think about love, being in love. I’ve never wanted it. I never thought it was for me. I grew up in the devastation that kind of emotion can cause, and so I…” I stop talking for a moment. “Then you told me how you felt, and it took me by surprise. I wasted so much time being jealous of your ex, being insecure about why you wanted to be with me, why you always walked away. I never thought it was possible that you had those kinds of feelings for me.”
She stares at me, almost like she can’t comprehend my blindness. “And after I told you?”
I chuckle. “I was shocked, but more than that, I was so fucking scared of doing something wrong and hurting you. The fact that you felt that way about me…I can’t begin to explain how it made me feel—happy, humbled, elated, afraid. That night, I could have responded and told you I felt the same way, and now I know it wouldn’t have been a lie. At the time, I was afraid you would leave, and I didn’t want to say those words just to make you stay.”
Her throat works as she swallows. “What about now?”
“I’ve been trying to take control of my feelings, trying to define them, to escape the…the vulnerability that comes with knowing I’d give up everything else to make you stay, but the tr
uth is, deep down, I’ve always known in a part of me that there would never be anyone else for me.”
Her eyes close, and I wish I could know what she’s thinking.
“I think I’ve been a fool for a very long time,” I whisper, smoothing a stray strand of her hair. “I’ve been in love with you for a while now…a long while.”
I hear her breathe. “Tell me,” she whispers.
I know exactly how she feels, because I’ve felt it too.
“I don’t want to be without you,” I tell her, saying the words I should have said two weeks ago. “I want us to make this work. I love you, Rachel. I’m helplessly, hopelessly in love with you.”
She’s crying again, but this time, she’s happy, not sad. Her face lights up, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“I love you,” I repeat. Then I put an arm around her and draw her close to me. “I love you.”
She touches her lips to mine in a soft kiss.
“Just so you know, I hate you for leaving me adrift these past two weeks.”
I smile. “But?”
“But I love you, Landon.”
I kiss her again, and it feels like heaven. My chest feels light and achy with happiness. It’s not a feeling I’m familiar with, but I could get used to it.
“I’m glad you came,” she whispers.
“I couldn’t have stayed away.” I close my eyes and touch my forehead to hers. “I’ve seen you every day I’ve been in town, and if you knew how hard it was for me not to reach out to you, you’d know I’m never going a day without you by my side.”
She raises her brows. “You’ve been stalking me.”
Laughing softly, I shake my head. “It’s not such a large city, and I wouldn’t call it stalking…just taking longer detours to work so I can see you at least once every day.”
“Stalking,” she insists, but she leans into me, sighing with contentment. I kiss her hair and her face. I stroke her back gently. I could stay with her like this forever, and I would love every minute.
We sit together for a long time, and then she glances toward the front of the house where the party is still lively.
“You can’t come all this way to a party and not get to dance,” she tells me.
I follow her gaze. Now that I have something to celebrate, dancing sounds like the best thing in the world. “Well, come on then.” I get up and take her hand, and we join the rest of the guests.
The hardest thing is leaving her and driving back to the city alone, but she’s spending the night at her parents’ place and won’t let me steal her away.
I call her as soon as I get home, not yet willing to let the magic of the night end—the magic of dancing with her under the stars, kissing her goodnight, hearing her say she loves me.
“Are you home?” she asks.