His eyes linger on my face for a long moment. I’m done with my food, and I know that it’s time to go back, to walk away, not just from the restaurant, but from Jack.
“I hope it works out in LA,” I tell him.
“Yes,” he grins, then sobers and reaches across the table for my hand. “I hope you’ll be happy,” he says. “You deserve it, and if Court gives you that, then I wish you all the best.”
I look down at his hand over mine on the table, tempted to tell him that Landon and I are no longer together. I’m feeling emotional, from saying goodbye to Jack, and from the reminder about Landon and his long, painful silence.
“Thanks,” I smile at Jack again, sure that my eyes are glistening. I pull my hand back from his and get up. “Thank you, Jack.” I put some money on the table before I go, leaving him sitting there, sure, but not necessarily regretful, that we will never have another intimate conversation ever again.
“I’M going to move in with Brett,” Laurie tells me on Thursday evening. She looks worried, unsure of how I’ll react. “He asked and I said yes.”
It’s day twelve after Landon, and while I’m still feeling tender, I’ve been trying to concentrate on all the things I can still look forward to and anticipate with pleasure. My interview, for example, as well as Laurie’s engagement party, and the wedding.
“When did this happen?” I ask, delighted for her.
“Today at lunch.” She smiles, “You know the gym has been growing.”
“Yes.” They’d recently opened two more locations, and with his business partner, Brett had developed a line of fitness products and videos that had been getting rave reviews.
“Well, with the success of the gym, the bigger apartment, and us getting married, he thinks it’s time.”
I nod, already missing her. “It’s what you want too, right?”
“Yes.”
“I’m glad then.” I smile at her, then cast one look around the living room of our apartment, the home we’ve shared for two years. “Everything’s changing,” I say with a sad smile. “I’m hap
py, but it’s scary.”
Laurie nods, agreeing with me. “I’ll miss living with you.”
“Me too.”
“Will you be alright?”
I shrug. “I’ve been planning to kick you out forever so I don’t have to watch those awful reality shows.”
“You love them,” she says with a playful grin. “You’ll watch them when I’m gone.”
“Only when I miss you.”
“Probably all the time.”
Suddenly we’re both crying, happy and sad at the same time.
“Being grown up is so weird,” Laurie says finally. “Everything was so much easier when we were kids.”
Later in bed, I’m thinking of all the ways my life is going to change, when I get an alert on my phone. It’s one of the email notifications I set up for news about Landon. I’m tempted to open it, to read about what he’s up to, to feast my eyes on the pictures of him and wonder what he’s thinking, and if he thinks about me at all.
I resist the temptation, and before I go to sleep, I delete all the alerts and notifications I set up for him. I won’t be reading about him anymore. I won’t continue to torture myself by dwelling on him. There’s simply no need.
ON Saturday, Laurie and I go upstate. The cab drops me off at my parents’, before taking her the further twenty minutes to her parent’s home, where the engagement party is holding. I’m spending the night at home, and then we’re all going together to Uncle Taylor’s and Aunt Jacie’s in the morning.
My dad stays in his study most of the day, and my mom is on the phone with Aunt Jacie, and with vendors, making last minute preparations. I remain in my old room until my brother Dylan arrives, and we stay up most of the night watching movies and snacking.
In the morning, we all troop over to join Laurie and her parents. My mom immediately throws herself into bullying the decorators, the florist, and all the other vendors with Aunt Jacie, while Laurie and I watch them from upstairs. My dad and uncle have disappeared somewhere, the study or the den, and Dylan is watching TV downstairs, so it’s just Laurie and me.
“It feels as if you’re getting married today,” I tell her.