“You know I’d have loved to see him,” she frets.
“You saw him last weekend, mom,” I tell her. “And we were just hanging out.”
She sighs. Dylan is the one guy whose relationship with my mom is different from all the others. He’s the one who has had her wrapped around his little finger, from the moment he was born. “I get it,” she says. “At least I’m trying to. So, are you back together with Landon?”
The switch from Dylan to Landon takes me by surprise. “I… Yes. For now.”
“So it’s not serious?”
“I...I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like it could be.”
She sighs. “In other words, it’s what you want, but you’re not sure if he wants the same thing.”
I don’t reply.
She is silent for a long moment, probably wondering how she failed to pass the man-eater gene to me. “When you told me you guys were no longer together…” she sighs. “Sweetie, you shouldn’t let yourself get too emotionally involved with someone if it’s not the same for him.”
It’s too late. I’m already in love with him. “What if I’m already too involved?”
I hear her sigh. “It should never be about the man, sweetheart. It should be about how he makes you feel. If you’re not sure how he feels about you, how happy can you be?”
How happy can you be?
I leave the bath
after our conversation. For a while, I try to read, then give up when I can’t concentrate. When I’m with Landon, I am happy. Sometimes the cloud of uncertainty interrupts the happiness, but it’s nothing compared with the hollowness and pain I felt those few days when we weren’t together.
I can’t bear the thought of being without him again, or the knowledge that when the day finally comes for us to end, it won’t be my choice. It will be because he doesn’t want me anymore, or because I’ve asked for some kind of commitment that he can’t bring himself to make.
I fall asleep with all that on my mind, and I don’t even hear when Laurie comes in.
I wake up in the middle of the night to Landon, sliding into the bed with me. Before I can ask any questions, he pulls my body to his, plastering me against his warmth. He smells clean and fresh like he’s just had a shower, but his skin is warm and naked against mine.
“Hi,” I whisper, all my fears vanishing now that he’s here with me.
“Hi,” he replies before he lowers his head to kiss me.
His lips are sweet and warm against mine. I kiss him back, pressing my arms around his back to pull him closer. “I missed you today,” he says, when he frees my lips.
“When you weren’t bossing me around.”
He rolls on top of me, covering my body with his. “You’re the only boss in the room,” he whispers, trailing his lips from my chin to my neck. He pulls up the vest I’m wearing, and I lift my arms to help him pull it over my head. Then he lowers his head to my breast, his lips closing over one nipple. He sucks on it while cupping the other breast, rubbing my second nipple with the pad of his thumb.
Sensation takes over my body, and I’m instantly aroused. The familiar ache starts low in my belly and travels between my legs, and I move my hips, grinding my body against his. I part my legs, needing more than anything, for him to touch me, and as if he can read my mind, he obliges. One hand slides between us to cup my sex, stroking me through my underwear and making me moan in pleasure.
“Did you think about this while you were at work?”
“Every minute,” I say with a sigh, rubbing myself against his fingers. He pulls my panties out of the way and touches my sex, stroking and rubbing with just the right amount of pressure.
My hips rise, and he pushes his fingers inside me, then he spreads them, seeking and finding the nerve endings guaranteed to send me over the edge. He rubs my insides leisurely, sighing when my walls contract around his fingers.
I reach for his cock, my fingers closing around the stiff length. He is rock-hard, like velvet over warm steel. “You’re so hard,” I whisper.
“Because I’ve been waiting all day for this.”
“Me too,” I tell him, with a sigh. “But I can’t wait anymore. I want you inside me.”
He groans at the words, and his fingers slip out of my sex. He pulls off my panties, then lifts me up, pulling me up by my arms so we’re facing each other, on our knees. He hugs my upper body to his, lifting me while with his free hand, he positions his cock between my legs, before letting my body slowly slide down till he’s completely sheathed inside me.