It’s almost seven, which means Bennett has been in his room for most of the day, and while I know he didn’t sleep last night, he does need to eat, especially to take the medication to help with his concussion. Maybe he could get away with not taking some of the pain meds, but I knew he needed them. I’m standing in front of his door, willing myself to go in, but not knowing if I want to invade his privacy. “Ummm, Bennett?” I whisper, and I don’t hear anything. “Bennett?” I repeat slightly louder and still nothi
ng. I press my hand to the silver French door handle and push slightly peeking my head into the room nervously. The room is dim as he’s drawn the shades and it’s already getting dark outside. It’s fairly quiet, the only noise being the gentle hum from the ceiling fan. “Bennett?”
I pad slowly through the room towards what used to be my side of the bed and turn on the bedside table lamp. I don’t miss the fact that he’s sleeping on my side, and I wonder if there’s more to it or if I’m just reading too much into it. He mumbles and turns his face into the pillow. “Bennett, you should eat something. You have to be hungry,” I whisper.
His eyes open when he hears my voice reminding me that I could rarely resist Bennett when he first woke up. Sleepy and lethargically sexy, his dark hair is wild and his eyes are slightly glazed making them look more jade than emerald. His shirt has ridden up slightly giving me a peek at his abs and a glimpse of his happy trail making my sex clench at what I know is underneath. He’s wearing basketball shorts instead of sweats, which really does even less to mask the semi hard-on he’s sporting, and I find myself getting short of breath. I take a step back when on top of all of that he gives me a lazy smile. “Hey.”
My heart races because of that simple word and I try everything to calm the rapid pounding in my chest. “I… umm…” Why did I come in here? It wasn’t just to ogle my estranged husband. “Food!” I exclaim and I roll my eyes at my outburst. “I mean…are you hungry? You have to be hungry. You should eat something. You’ve slept most of the day away.”
“Shit, sorry.” He sits up and rubs his eyes before focusing on me. “I think not sleeping last night caught up with me.”
“No reason to be sorry. You should be resting. But I told Wren I’d make sure you’d take your medication, and I’ll never hear the end of it if you don’t.” I smile. It’s half true; I do want to make sure he’s doing everything he can to get better. But a part of me, a part that is growing steadily by the moment wants to spend more time with him. With this Bennett. I’m not sure how he feels about what we discussed earlier and his last comment has been weighing on my mind.
Is it possible for us to reconcile? Is all of this our second chance?
Possibly. My heart answers before my brain has a chance to shoot down the idea.
My heart thumps at the possibilities.
I bite my bottom lip as the ideas take form and bloom in my head.
Counseling. Like a lot of counseling.
“You’re staring at me funny.” He cocks his head to the side and I blink away the thoughts as the reality of our situation comes into focus. We can’t be anything while he’s like this. Because at the end of the day, I still want answers. Answers that could only come from Bennett regaining his memories.
Would I ever be able to truly forgive and move on if Bennett never remembers what he did? How could he really be sorry if he has no recollection of it happening? Maybe he could live like that, but could I?
At this point, he hasn’t lived through the darkest part of our marriage…but I had.
“We can order something? Or…I could cook?” I say weakly. I want out of this bedroom and away from our marital bed. My mind is in sensory overload and I can feel my walls flying down over being in this intimate setting with him. “I’ll just wait for you in the living room,” I murmur before I bolt for the door and down the hall.
“Get a grip, Liv,” I whisper to myself as I make my way to the couch. My index finger finds my mouth and I begin to chew on the nail nervously as I wait for Bennett to come out. A part of me hopes that he’s slightly more covered up, but clearly the universe is looking to punish me because he’s in nothing more than his t-shirt and shorts when he makes his way into the living room.
“Why are you so nervous around me now?” He cocks his head to the side. “You weren’t even like this when we first started dating.” And it’s true; even though Bennett Clarke was older and more experienced and felt like a real adult while I was a fresh college graduate, he never made me feel nervous or intimidated. My mind drifts back to our first date and how effortless things were between us.
“I’m glad we finally did this,” Bennett says. He clasps his hand with mine as we walk through Central Park. We’d gone to breakfast for our first date, something I hadn’t anticipated from a man like Bennett, and now we’re walking around the empty park, as most people had escaped the New York streets for the Hamptons this particular weekend. There are people here and there, picnicking or bicycling, or touring the infamous park, but for the most part, it’s pretty empty.
We begin our walk across the Bow Bridge and as he leans to look over the pond, I stand next to him watching as the water ripples under the warm breeze. “You never did say why you were so insistent on breakfast.” I cock my head to the side. “I don’t get up before noon on a Saturday for many people, Mr. Clarke.” I tease.
“Not a morning person, huh?”
“Not if I can avoid it.” I chuckle.
“There’s too many connotations with dinner. You have one too many cocktails, your inhibitions are lowered, someone asks someone to come back to someone’s place…” He shakes his head. “Your options after dinner are either to end the date because it’s late, go get more drunk, or go somewhere and fuck. I wanted more time before any of those decisions needed to be made.”
“So, this is you…buying time before you try to fuck me?”
He shoots me a grin. “This is me giving us time to see if there will be more after I fuck you.”
My cheeks heat up and I feel his hands on my cheeks. “That doesn’t mean I expect anything from you or this.”
I lick my lips, unsure of what to say before he nods and lets his hands fall from my face. I tuck a long strand of hair that I’d curled for this date behind my ear and shoot him a lascivious grin. “You know, people do have sex during the day too…” His smile is almost blinding before he leans down and presses his lips to mine. He pushes me against the rail of the bridge, boxing me in as he gives me what would come to be the best first kiss of my life, and in that moment I knew Bennett Clarke was about to change my life.
I’m snapped from my memory by the sound of a knock on my door.
“I’m not nervous, it’s just a lot having you here again,” I tell him as I make my way to answer it, somewhat shocked that Bennett hadn’t tried to answer it for me. It’s getting late, and I’m not sure who it could be. I half expect it to be David and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see it’s just a teenage kid from the building.
“Hey, Knox.” I smile when I see the young kid that often brings deliveries up from the lobby when they can’t be buzzed upstairs.