What a miracle, I thought, scratching my chest as I headed to my bathroom. It always took a few hits of the snooze button before I got up. Maybe because I’d rather be awake and thinking of her than asleep.
Did I go too fast with her? Too slow?
Was I too gentle, too rough?
Not enough? Or was it too much?
Damn. I’d been torturing myself with these thoughts all week. What the hell was happening to me?
I’d never had these doubts before, but with Red, it was a different story. It was very important to me that she enjoyed that night. I could only hope it meant to her even half of what it meant to me.
Up until that night, I’d never realized how it was to give and take from someone who owned your body and heart.
There was no doubt she owned both of mine.
I knew how great a step it was to finally give herself to me. What it meant. Just thinking about it was tightening my throat, making my chest ache.
She loved me.
Red. Loved. Me.
I grinned again.
I grabbed my toothbrush, squeezed toothpaste on it, and jammed it in my mouth. Ouch! I should have been grimacing in pain, but when I looked in the mirror, I was still smiling.
I’m a freaking psycho.
All my exams were done yesterday, but Red still had two days to go. This week passed in a blur—sometimes too fast because of exams, and sometimes turtle-ass slow when I thought about when I could see her again.
She had banned me from seeing her all week, complaining that I was a distraction and I’d better not even try or else. I wondered what or else meant. I promised to find out. And I did when I dropped by to see her at Kara’s. She booted me out not even ten minutes later.
When Red was studying, nothing could take her away from it.
Unless it was me.
And how could that not make me grin like an idiot?
I thought I could never want her more than I had before, but after that night in my bed, the want had only gotten worse. I wanted—needed—her so badly, I ached.
I knew she felt the same. I could feel her desire when I broke her rules and dropped by to see her. The way her eyes lingered on me just a little longer, the way her lips parted at my slightest touch.
There was something different between us after that night. And I loved it. I couldn’t wait to explore more of it. More of her.
But I wasn’t going to do anything again until she was ready. The next move would be up to her. Even if it killed me, this time, I’d wait.
I stepped in the shower, fantasized having her under the spray of warm water with me. How wet and soft she’d be. How responsive, making those erotic sounds at the back of her throat. Feeling her fingers digging into my back. Her hips risin
g to meet mine…
It took me longer to shower this time.
I was padding to my closet to get dressed when my phone burped a text. Rubbing the towel on my hair, I headed back to my bed to check my phone, nearly stepping on the pillow. Thinking of Red and how she always told me to pick up my stuff, I grabbed the pillow from the floor and threw it on the bed.
She should be here with me right now.
Sighing, I picked up my phone, barked out a laugh as I read Ben’s text, and sent him a reply. It had been a while since I’d seen him. I missed my older brother. His text said something about a woman he was dating. She’d accused him of being the most unromantic guy on earth.
Romantic. I certainly wasn’t before Red. It took the right girl—my girl—before I’d realized I had a lot to give. I’d been wanting—no, needing—to do something romantic for Red. I wanted to make her feel special, to let her know how much that night meant to me. How much she meant to me.