I wanted to run to him, to beg him to take me back, but he was so cold now. He had never looked at me like that before.
It stopped me like a blow to the heart. And I just…froze. The words that I had practiced over and over melted on my tongue. Nothing came out.
“I’ll see you around. Veronica.”
I watched him get on his motorcycle. He revved the engine angrily, once, twice. He stayed there for a few moments, as if he was waiting for something. He rubbed his face with his hand, put on his helmet, and then drove away.
I broke down.
* * *
When the knock sounded on the door, I grabbed my blanket and covered myself, pretending to sleep. Just as I had expected, the door opened.
“I know you’re still up.”
It was Damon. He held two steaming mugs in his hands.
“I have hot chocolate. Kar said you have to drink it or she will pour it down my throat.”
I sighed. I pushed off my covers and sat up, not meeting his eyes. He came into the room and handed a mug to me. “Here.” He sat on the floor, leaning against my bed.
“Thanks.” The mug was piping hot, but I took a sip of the scalding chocolate anyway.
“I don’t know how you do that without blowing on it first. You just…drink it like that?”
I shrugged, then remembered he wasn’t facing me. “Yes. I don’t like it lukewarm,” I answered. “I’ve always liked it really hot.”
He shivered. “So you must like the feeling on your tongue when it gets burned. You know, that sort of dry, sore feeling, like a bunch of needles are pricking it?”
“Not really,” I replied. “But the pain’s worth it.”
He nodded. Silence filled the room, but we were both comfortable with each other’s company now.
“If something is really good, the pain is worth it, yes?” he asked.
I inhaled sharply. I knew where this was going. I had been forcing myself to not think about what happened tonight. If I did…
“Angel Face,” he started, looking up at me with serious big, blue eyes. “I’m sorry for what happened tonight.”
Every time I remembered the cold look in Caleb’s eyes, I wanted to scream and cry.
“Don’t blame yourself for everything. Look. I don’t blame you for how you reacted that night when you left him. Lockhart had a friend who needed him that night, but he also had a girlfriend waiting for him at home. I know what you’re thinking. If you can’t trust him to do the right thing in a situation like that, then how can you trust him in worse situations?”
Damon let out a loud sigh and continued. “Are you supposed to ignore your feelings, keep them inside just because you don’t want to lose him? Girl, I tell you.” He blew on his drink, then took a small sip. “If you do that, you’re going to start resenting him, and it will destroy your relationship.”
He bowed his head. When he spoke again, his voice was thicker. “Everyone has fears they keep tightly locked inside themselves.” He turned to look at me now, searching my face. “But that doesn’t make you weak. We judge ourselves too easily when we do something wrong, but you know what’s the most important thing?”
I shook my head, and he gave me a soft smile. “It is how you get up after you’ve fallen. How you fix things and how you still find the courage to keep fighting, even after you have been hurt. How you face the wrong things you have done and make them right again. Yes?”
I nodded.
He stood up and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.
“Pretty Angel Face. You feel guilty for hurting him, and that’s okay. But don’t give up yet. Don’t forget all the good things you shared together because someone has tried to break you apart. He’s hurt. And he might have the wrong idea about you and me after tonight. I can talk to him if you like. But he needs you. Go to him.”
I followed him with my eyes as he walked to my door. “Good night, Angel Face. Sweet dreams,” he said softly. Then closed the door as he left.
Chapter Four