Chapter One
Veronica
This was it. This was my chance to make things right. I just didn’t know if I could take it.
Dread and anxiety chilled my spine as I stepped off the bus. I stood in front of Caleb’s apartment building with my head bowed low, arguing with myself over whether or not I should go in. It had been a few hours since the fight in school, since I saw him drive away from the parking lot. It had been less than twenty-four hours since I packed my bags and left him.
This had been my home with him…before.
It wasn’t anymore.
I knew good things didn’t last. Every time something good happened, something bad followed. Maybe, just maybe, this time it would be good again.
Last time I entered this building, I had gotten a new phone for myself and a present for Caleb. Had he seen it yet? Did he keep it or throw it away?
Heart racing, I clasped my hands together and tried not to wring them. Was he home? Would he let me in? What if he refused?
If Caleb rejected me, I didn’t know if I could handle it…
You rejected him first. What gives you the right to ask him not to reject you?
Nothing.
Caleb’s words burned in my mind. I want you to fight for me just as I fought for you. But you wouldn’t.
I closed my eyes tightly. It hurt every time I heard his voice in my head. I hadn’t been ready to hear everything he had to say before, but I was ready now. Beatrice-Rose said they had kissed and claimed they did more.
Caleb said they didn’t sleep together. Now that anger wasn’t clouding my thoughts, I realized that he had never lied to me before. If anything, he was too honest. Would he lie about something as serious as this? No, I realized, he wouldn’t. And he…he was the only person who never gave up on me.
Don’t ask me to let go of you. I can’t, he had said.
But did he still want me? Had he let go of me after what I’d done?
My fears were nipping at my heels, waiting to pounce at my slightest weakness. I took a deep breath, pushing away my anxiety.
Gathering my courage, I stepped forward and entered the lobby. And froze. Beatrice-Rose was walking out of the elevator, her steps fast and determined. What was she doing here?
No one was allowed to go up unless the receptionist called the tenant, and the tenant gave the go-ahead. So Caleb must have given her permission to go up. The thought made me take a step back to hide out of Beatrice-Rose’s line of sight.
What if something was going on between them? What if Caleb had given up on me and realized I wasn’t worth it?
No, no. Didn’t you just say you believed him? You would fight for him?
Damn right I would fight for him.
Maybe Beatrice-Rose was trying to manipulate him again, pretending to be hurt and helpless to get what she wanted. If she tried anything with Caleb, she’d get more than a slap from me this time.
The kiss last night wasn’t his fault. It was mine, she had said.
Did he really kiss her? I had to know, and the only person who could tell me was Caleb. I needed to talk to him.
I narrowed my eyes as I watched Beatrice-Rose get into a taxi. She had changed her clothes since I saw her a few hours ago. She wore a white baby-doll dress that ended above her knees. Her blond hair—now lengthened with expensive-looking extensions that bounced against her lower back—was swept off her beautiful face with a red headband. She had exchanged her heels in favor of white flats.
She looked as innocent as a dove. You’d never know that she was a snake behind that beautiful face.
Praying to God that Caleb hadn’t removed me from the list of approved visitors who could go straight up, I casually strolled to the elevators, trying to avoid the concierge’s hawk eyes. I froze when he spotted me, expecting him to call security to escort me out of the building, but he just smiled. I let out a relieved breath when the elevator doors closed.
As the elevator climbed up, my heart started to race. I felt nervous, my hands clammy and cold as I twisted them together. When the elevator stopped at Caleb’s floor, I took a deep calming breath and walked out.
My steps were muffled by the carpet as I neared his door. It was so quiet in the hallway that I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
Please don’t hate me.
I stopped in front of his door, biting my lip. I had gotten used to going in without knocking, but I knew I had lost that privilege now.
Oh God. What if I lose him too?
Slowly, I raised my hand, forming a fist.
Just do it!
I closed my eyes tightly and knocked.
Nothing.
What if the concierge had called him and told him I was on my way, and Caleb didn’t want to let me in? He had to let me in. He had to listen to me. He had to…
I knocked again. When there was no answer, I ignored the guilt I felt by invading his privacy and entered the code to unlock the door.
Oh God. What if he changed the code?
But the door opened easily.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I stepped in. It was dark and quiet. I walked to the living room first, passing the couch where Caleb loved to sit and prop his feet on the coffee table. In my mind, I saw him turn his head to look at me.
“What’s for dinner, Red?”
I blinked, and he was gone. The blanket he had covered me with the night I left him—which felt like years ago but was unbelievably just last night—was still on the floor where I had dropped it.
Had he not come home yet? Where was he?
I passed the kitchen, smiling sadly when I remembered how he had cooked dinner a long time ago. I had made him wear an apron, and he had pouted while frying potatoes.