ore, and now he didn’t know if he could ever use one again with Alyssa. The feel of her was better than any top shelf whiskey. Nothing compared.
“Johnny, oh my, Johnny, don’t stop …”
“I won’t baby,” he murmured. John continued thrusting inside of her until they both released, their bodies completely spent and used. He rolled over and pulled Alyssa into the crook of his arm while his other hand rested on his chest. They both breathed heavily, their bodies coated in a light sheen of sweat.
“Thank you for that,” he said.
Alyssa kissed his chest. “Anything for you, Johnny. You don’t have to thank me.”
Quietly, he admitted, “I’m hurting bad, baby. My chest is tight. I’m so scared of the unknown.”
“I know you are. So am I,” she said as she dragged her nails gently over his chest trying to soothe his nerves.
“I love you, you know,” John blurted out.
Alyssa stilled her hand. Did she love him?
“You don’t have to say it back, but I wanted you to know in case anything ever happens.” Leaning over Alyssa, John searched her beautiful blue eyes that captivated him from the moment they met for a sign of love from her. He pushed away her sweat coated hair from her forehead and looked into her eyes. “I love you, okay? You need to know that.” She nodded, and then he kissed her in a no holds barred kiss proving that he really did love her. Alyssa may not know it just yet, but tonight sealed his fate.
John was wholly hers in every sense of the way.
What was that stupid saying? It was five o’clock somewhere?
That’s exactly what John thought as he cracked open a beer at noon the next day. He flicked the cap onto the grass and took a long hard pull on it. He was down by Whiskey River with Ford, completely drunk and pissed off about life. Truthfully, he wanted to find a punching bag and beat the shit out of it. Life wasn’t fair. That shit with Jace last night wasn’t fair. They were hanging on by a damn prayer at this point. John was trying to stay positive, but hell, it wasn’t easy after seeing him in that bed and hearing what the doctor said. There was only so much hope he could give.
“This feels weird not having Jace here,” John said. After he snuck out of Alyssa’s house last night, he went home and crashed, then woke up to his parents banging on his bedroom door demanding to know what happened last night. His eyes were bloodshot and dry, swollen from all the crying he did once he got home. His parents tried to talk to him, but he wasn’t ready. They pushed and prodded but he ignored them and took off an hour later, slamming the door behind him. He couldn’t talk about it yet with them. It hurt too much.
Had he not had Alyssa call Jace, then he wouldn’t be in the state he was in. And that’s what hurt the most. Knowing it was all his fault.
John was sinking inside, his chest burned with each breath he took. The only way to erase the pain was to drink it away.
Now it was just a dull ache inside.
Alyssa had been blowing up his phone all morning, but he wasn’t ready to talk to her either after he opened himself up to her last night. She stayed silent, just nodded her head and it kind of pissed him off thinking about it now. Maybe he should have kept his feelings to himself.
“I can’t believe what happened. I mean, last night we were all here fucking around celebrating the end of the semester. It’s unreal,” Ford stated in disbelief before chugging down another beer.
John replayed the entire night for Ford while he sat there stone faced in shock. John explained in detail how Jace’s truck wrapped around the tree. He replayed the moment he saw Jace lying in the hospital bed. How he was there, but he wasn’t.
Ford grew somber staring at the ground. John was devastated over the cards they were dealt last night. He stood up and threw his empty beer bottle, watching as it smashed into a million little pieces covering the ground. John grabbed another and went to throw it, but he tripped over a tree stump and fell to the ground. Rage crawled through him. That little slip up only fueled his anger. He got to his feet and grabbed Ford’s half empty one and threw that too.
“Hey—what the fuck are you doing?” Ford asked, shoving at him.
John’s eyes widened, his nose flaring. “That wasn’t a smart move. Don’t start with me right now.”
“Listen up, you dipshit, I didn’t do anything. So don’t take this shit out on me. I’m your friend here.”
“Just shut up.” John retorted. The car accident flashed before he’s eyes again. Jace had to pull through. He just had to …
Grabbing the sides of his head, he bent down and then whipped his head back. “FUCK!” He yelled, squeezing his eyes shut. He needed to go see Jace. He needed to sit next to his bed side and pray for him and not sulk. John looked around for his keys, but he couldn’t remember where he had put them.
“What are you looking for?” Ford asked.
“My keys.”
“What for? Where do you think you’re going?” Ford stepped up and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t touch me,” he growled, shoving Ford away.