"I… I have kidney disease. Stage four kidney disease."
"What does that mean?"
"There are five stages, and it means my kidneys are failing at a crazy fast rate. The doctor said advanced kidney damage. I have to start dialysis soon, and eventually I'm going to need a transplant. I'm holding off on the dialysis right now, though, and started with medication that will hopefully suppress symptoms. My dad said he's going to talk with family to see who will offer to be tested, but if I don't match with any of them, I'll have to be put on a waiting list and basically pray for a miracle."
She was quiet again. I was trying to stay strong, but I could hear her soft cries in the distance and it only made it harder for me.
"Ave?"
"I'm here," she said, but I could barely hear her.
"I'm scared. I don't want to die."
Her cries came in a little stronger this time, and so did mine. I felt empty inside, terrified of the unknown, because no matter what I could do, my body was going to do whatever it wanted.
"Get your head in the game for practice. Let's talk more about this later. I love you, and I promise everything is going to be okay."
We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone. Climbing out of my truck, I grabbed my duffle bag and made my way inside the gym to the locker room. Drawing in air through my nose, I took a couple of deep breaths to steady myself.
I felt awful for opening up to Avery when I'd shut her out for so long. But I needed her, and I needed her support to go through with this, especially if I was going to go the route I planned.
I quickly undressed out of my sweats, balled them up and stuck them in my bag. A slight pang shot up my leg, but I ignored it. I'd ice my calf and ankle once I got home. I had enough pain already to deal with and I hadn't even started practice yet.
Four
"There is no glory in practice. Sports reveal character. Games, meets—they reveal your true character. What would it say about you?" Kova asked the girls. He walked past me to grab some mats. "The way you practice is the way you compete. Give me everything
you got today, ladies. I want it all. Show me what you are made of. Prove to me that you deserve this."
"Someone's a little too happy today," Holly said quietly with a small smirk. "I'm kinda scared for what he has in store for us. There's too much pep in his step."
I laughed, totally agreeing with her.
Lifting my gaze, I observed the way Kova moved in a shirt I’d detest on any other guy. It was the crew neck kind where someone took a pair of scissors and cut the sleeves off with their eyes closed and made giant, jagged holes that drooped down to their hips. The only saving grace was the fact that Kova was shredded and his god-awful shirt showcased the part of his body I loved the most—the left side of his ribs, exposing the black Olympic ring tattoo that looked like it was floating every time he took a breath.
Damn this man. Damn his eyes. Damn his fucking body.
"He must be getting laid a lot right now," Reagan chimed in. I glanced over at her and felt instant aggravation over her words. She reached down to grab her toes. "He's totally giving Katja that D and boning her hard. He can give it to me any day." She snickered.
"What would give you that impression?" Holly asked, arms extended above her head as she stretched out her shoulders.
Reagan gave her a knowing look. "It's obvious. You'd have to be blind as a bat not to notice, Hols."
We’d already ran two miles and completed a thirty-minute warmup. We were seated in a straddle position on the floor and I was about to spark conversation with the girls when Kova came up behind me and grabbed my ankle, lifting it.
Kova's freshly clean scent enveloped me like an invisible trail. The citrus and cinnamon pulsed through my nose and invigorated me. I tried to lay forward, but he placed a hand around my ribs and stopped me. The warmth of his fingers spread through my ribs.
"What would it say about you?" Kova asked again. His body was so close to mine his heat radiated onto my back.
I glanced at Reagan, and a smile spread across my face. "I'm not sure what it would say about me, but I know what it would say about you as a coach."
"What is that?" he asked too proudly.
"You love to coach because it gives you the power to control everything and everyone. You like to dominate, like having the final say."
Holly and Reagan giggled. I pressed my lips together. I couldn't help but laugh myself.
Kova pulled my leg higher, closer to my side. I winced from the pull in my hamstring. "Relax. Breathe through your stomach, Adrianna, and focus," he said in my ear just for me. "Grab your ankle."