For the past six years, Dwayne had been a highway patrolman. He spent most nights like he was spending this one, happily waiting in his speed trap under the Washington Street Bridge on I-40, radar gun at the ready.
“I wasn’t kidnapped,” Riley said. “This is my boss, Emerson Knight.”
“Well, damn,” Dwayne said, “I told Mom you weren’t kidnapped. Why didn’t you call her this week? She’s been worried sick.” He hauled back and studied Riley. “Are you sure you’re not kidnapped? Maybe you got a case of what do you call it when you get a crush on your kidnapper? Stockroom syndrome?”
“It’s called Stockholm syndrome, and I don’t have it. And I didn’t call Mom because we’re off the grid. I don’t have a phone.” Riley sniffed at Dwayne’s uniform. “I smell burger and onion rings.”
“I just ate the burger, but I got onion rings left. You want some? I even got ranch dressing.” He looked toward Emerson. “The three greatest contributions the United States made to world culture are jazz, rock and roll, and ranch dressing.”
They all piled into Dwayne’s patrol car, and Dwayne passed the onion rings around.
“You can use my phone to call Mom and Dad after I call you in,” Dwayne said.
“You don’t need to call us in,” Riley said. “I’m fine. I wasn’t kidnapped. There was no crime committed.”
“The feds have a BOLO out for you. I got to bring you in.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I’m a law enforcement officer, sis. I got responsibilities. How did you know I’d be here anyway?”
“You have to make your monthly quota. I figured you’d be at your favorite speed trap. How’s it going?”
“For crap. Nobody speeds anymore. Gas prices are too high.” Then he added, “You’re looking good, sis.”
“Thanks, so are you.”
He nodded toward Emerson. “This guy treating you all right?”
“Yes, I am,” Emerson said. “She’s my amanuensis.”
“I oughta punch you right in the mouth,” Dwayne said.
Riley did an eye roll. “It means ‘assistant.’?”
“So I’m guessing you’re off the grid because the feds are looking for you and you don’t want to be found,” Dwayne said. “I get why they’re looking for you. They thought you were kidnapped. The big Q is why don’t you want to be found?”
“Without going into a lot of detail, we’re looking for some of Emerson’s inheritance,” Riley said. “It’s…missing.”
“Oh man, does this have to do with that missing gold scam?”
“How do you know about that?”
“Lowell won’t shut up about it. He keeps going on about Miss M. and Mr. K.” Dwayne’s eyes opened wide and he gave a bark of laughter. “Hot damn! That’s you isn’t it? Miss M. The M stands for ‘Moon.’ Am I right? Am I right?”
“Perhaps I should cloud his mind,” Emerson said.
“Too late,” Riley said. “That ship sailed.”
“Are you really that Mysterioso guy?” Dwayne asked Emerson.
“Sometimes,” Emerson said. “Other times, no.”
“Could I have your autograph?”
“No,” Emerson said.
“We were following a lead on the gold when we had a transportation mishap,” Riley said to Dwayne. “I was hoping I could borrow the GTO. Without Dad knowing about it.”