I blush again—before today I didn’t even know that I had the capacity to blush this much—and murmur, “Thank you.” It feels weird to be complimented for waiting with a tray, but considering how much I wanted to run away, it feels like a victory that someone noticed.
I continue my circuit of the room, and luckily no one else is occupied. When I’m down to one glass on the tray, I approach Jenny and Chris who are at the end of my circuit. But Jenny isn’t cuddled in his lap anymore, she’s on her knees, and his cock is all the way down her throat. I offer him the tray.
“It’s good to see you again, Emma,” he says as he takes the final glass. “Though I’m a little surprised. I thought you were on the vanilla side of the wedding.”
“I was,” I say. “I am. I’m just—”
“Emma and I have a difference of opinion on whether or not she’s submissive.” Matthew’s voice comes from behind me, and a second later I feel the heat of him even though he’s not touching me. So close. “I made a bet with her that after three days she would admit it.”
I press my lips together, fighting to keep my mouth shut. Chris sees it and laughs. “You’re a lucky girl, Emma.”
Jenny hasn’t as much as looked up from her task while we’ve talked, and she doesn’t give any sign that she’s going to.
“If you’ll excuse us, Christopher,” Matthew says.
“Of course.”
Hand on my shoulder, Matthew guides me away, back toward the bar and a secluded corner. I put the tray away and he pulls me into his lap in a chair like the other ones scattered across the room. “You did well,” he said.
“I’m guessing you didn’t have me do that because you needed a cocktail waitress.”
“You’re right,” he says, smiling and pulling me closer in his lap. Despite the warmth of the day, I’m getting cold in this outfit, and the heat of his body feels good against mine. I also feel weirdly drained from the experience, and it feels good to just relax. His hand draws circles on my hip, and I let my head rest on his shoulder. “I wanted you to see a bunch of different couples playing, and maybe see some things you’d be curious to try. I also wanted to show you off a little.”
“Show me off?”
“You’re beautiful,” he says, shrugging. “You look sexy as hell in this outfit, and maybe I like to make other people jealous.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t remember a time when someone’s wanted people to be jealous of me. It feels…different. All of this feels different than I expected it to.
“Also,” he says, “there are different kinds of submissives. Some submissives find great joy in serving others. Some find the most joy in being a submissive all the time, and some are submissive only in the bedroom. Those are generalizations, and there are as many variations as there are people. I wanted to see how serving might affect you.” He smiles, and I get distracted by the feeling of his fingers on my skin. “I don’t think you are a service submissive.”
“Oh.” I let myself relax, and even with the sounds and smells of sex around me, I find myself almost drifting off. “What happens now?” I ask through my haze.
“You tell me how you felt while you were watching Karen and Greg.”
I blush, and try to push off his lap, but his hands are like iron on me and I’m not able to move. “Who?”
He raises an eyebrow that tells me he knows I’m only pretending that I don’t know who he’s talking about. But he’s going to let me get away with it. “The couple using the St. Andrew’s cross. How did you feel watching them?”
“I didn’t feel anything.”
“You and I both know that that’s not true. There are no secrets between Doms and subs, or at least there shouldn’t be. The reason we make rules and talk so much is that the way we play, the stakes are higher. We’re not stupid. If one person keeps something from the other, maybe nothing happens. But also maybe one person panics and someone gets hurt. I saw you watching them. Tell me how you felt.”
I can’t meet his eyes. “I was aroused. They were having sex, that’s what happens when you watch people have sex.” Closing my eyes, I shake my head. “I still don’t understand why she would agree to be tied up like that so that anyone can do what they like with her.”
“But you wouldn’t agree to do it with just anyone,” he says gently. “This isn’t about signing up to be assaulted by someone you don’t know. Anyone who says that doesn’t understand BDSM. This lifestyle is all about consent. We call it play for a reason—it’s fun. There shouldn’t be anything happening that both parties aren’t okay with. If you think about it in that context, does it make more sense? It’s not really any different than how vanilla people have relationships. Kinky people just prefer more creative sex.”