“Hamster. And he wouldn’t have been in danger in the first place if it wasn’t for you.”
“I’m thinking I should see some gratitude. I could have just run out and left him there, but I took the time to save his life.”
I turned onto Hamilton Avenue. “You have a lot of nerve pulling the gratitude card on me after all I’ve done for you.”
“You got me drunk, kidnapped, and almost blown up!”
“And you want more?”
Briggs slumped in his seat. “I don’t know what I want. I’m depressed.”
My phone rang, and I saw from the display that it was Lula.
“I need you to come pick me up,” she said. “I’m done here.”
“What about Stanley?”
“He’s with me. They discharged him. He just had a panic attack, but he’s okay now. You can pick us up at the emergency entrance.”
It took me three minutes to get to the hospital. Lula was standing at the curb, and Stanley was alongside her, wearing a hospital gown and handcuffs.
“You don’t have to worry about anything,” Lula said to me, helping to get Stanley into the backseat. “I put him in two gowns so his rear door don’t flap open. And I got extra big gowns, too.”
“I’m hungry,” Stanley said. “I didn’t get any lunch.”
“Yeah, I’m hungry too,” Briggs said. “I had an upsetting morning.”
Lula looked over at Briggs. “What the heck happened to him?”
I steered the Buick into traffic and pointed us in the direction of Cluck-in-a-Bucket. “He was in my apartment when it got torched. Someone rocketed a firebomb into it.”
“Say what?”
“He’s out to get me,” Briggs said. “He’s not going to stop until he gets me.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have done his wife,” I said.
“Everyone’s done his wife,” Briggs said. “I was last in line. There was no one left to do her. I thought I was doing everyone a favor.”
“Hold on here,” Lula said. “Are we talking a rocket like ZOOM BANG! and everything’s blown all to hell?”
“It was more like BANG WHOOSH,” Briggs said. “It punched a hole in the brick instead of sailing through the window, and Steph’s living room got cremated. And at great personal risk to myself I rescued the hamster.”
“No shit?” Lula said. “Is that true?”
I swung into the parking lot to Cluck-in-a-Bucket. “Looks like it. I haven’t been allowed into my apartment yet. What do you all want here?”
“I want a double Clucky Burger with large fries, onion rings, and a Diet Coke,” Stanley said. “And I want an apple pie for dessert.”
“I’ll second that,” Lula said.
“Yeah, me too,” Briggs said.
“Who’s going in for this?” I asked.
“Not me,” Briggs said. “I can’t see over the counter.”
“I’d go,” Stanley said, “but I don’t have any money, and I can’t carry all the drinks with these handcuffs.”