“I feel the same way,” I tell him.
I’m feeling suddenly emotional, but I don’t know why. I’m just so happy. I always thought the term “making love” was so cheesy and old school, but now it all makes sense. When Ben and I came together, it wasn’t just sex. We made love.
* * *
Ben leaves to run on a mysterious mission. While he’s gone, I lay in a beam of sunlight coming through the cabin window and bask in the glow of the most incredible sensations I’ve ever felt. I’ve always heard girls talk about their first times as if it were something they’d been anticipating their whole lives but were ultimately disappointed. If everyone’s first time was the same as mine, no one would stay a virgin. I’m so glad I didn’t waste my time losing my virginity to some random young guy in town. I would probably be disappointed and think of sex as something more of a chore than something to look forward to. But with Ben it was more than just a physical feeling I enjoyed. It was emotional and magical. It was everything I could’ve hoped for and more. I really think I’m falling for him. And I have a feeling he’s falling for me too. I’ve had guys look at me with lust before. It’s different with Ben.
I get dressed, afraid someone other than Ben will come home early and see me laying naked in a bed with the sheets tossed and the pillows thrown across the room. Clearly more than a nap took place here. I hurry to make the bed and hide all evidence of our encounter.
I hear the door downstairs open and close, and footsteps coming up the stairs. My heart gives a little flutter when Ben walks in. I wonder if my body will always react that way when seeing him.
He has a grocery bag and pulls out a tub of Rocky Road ice cream and two spoons. Sitting on the side of the bed next to me, he hands me a spoon and opens the lid to the tub.
“You remembered Rocky Road is my favorite,” I say.
He smiles. “I remember everything about you.”
He always knows the right things to say to me to make me feel special. But there’s something in the way he watches me take a spoon full of ice cream that makes me think that he has more to say but is hesitating.
“What is it?” I ask, afraid that he’s feeling regret over what we did.
“Is that really what you wanted?” he asks. I know he’s not talking about the ice cream.
I stare at him as if he’s lost his mind. “Are you kidding me?” I say, and playfully swipe his nose with a dollop of chocolate ice cream. “That was better than I could’ve imagined. Amazing sex and then Rocky Road after? There’s only one thing that would make it absolutely perfect.”
He takes his spoon and dips it into the ice cream and I’m relieved to see him looking more comfortable now that he knows I don’t regret anything. “What’s that?”
“If this day will never end.”
He takes a spoon full of ice cream and feeds it to me. “We’ll have plenty more days like this.
My heart leaps at the promise that there will be more amazing experiences with Ben.
* * *
That night, after everyone gets home from their hike, they change clothes and head into town. There’s a big dance at the lodge and Tulip and Annie are anticipating all the cute guys in town on vacation will be there. They beg me to go, but I point to my ankle and tell them my dancing days are on hold for now. They eventually relent.
Everyone leaves. But Ben stays. My heart lifts because I was hoping he would stay. When everyone’s gone he asks, “How’s the ankle?”
“Good as new.” I put all my weight on it and spin around to show him.
He smiles in a conspiratorial way because he knew I lied to my friends and family just so I could spend more time alone with him.
“There’s more ice cream in the freezer if you’re interested,” he says.
“That sounds good to me. We could eat it together under the stars.”
He smiles and wraps me in a hug. I love the feeling of being engulfed in his strong arms.
We grab the ice cream and spoons and head out to the dock. The moon is barely a sliver in the sky, so it’s mostly dark out. The stars are brilliant and fill the sky as far as the eye can see. Without the city lights to dim them, it seems there are more stars than ever before. Frogs croak a funny song, answering to each other as if in conversation. Fireflies light up randomly around us. The night feels like a dream. Even more so now that I’m lying next to Ben on the dock. He holds my hand and it feels like the most natural thing in the world for us to be here together like this.