A man and a woman were anchoring the news. They talked a little about the concert, and they introduced Brenda. And then Brenda was suddenly onstage, in a chair next to the female anchor. Brenda's legs were demurely crossed and her bulging breasts looked like polished marble. She was all smiles and white teeth and sparkling eyes. Brenda was stunning. Something happened between Brenda and the camera. Even the whole Daisy Duke thing was working.
Nancy had her fingers in her ears and her eyes squinched shut. “Tell me when its over.”
“It's good,” I told her. “You have to see this. She's beautiful.”
Nancy opened one eye. “Really?”
“It's magic,” I said to her.
“I just love it here,” Brenda said to the anchor. “I'm in Trenton, right?”
The anchors laughed. Brenda was adorable.
“Everyone is wondering about your love life,” the anchor said. “There's a rumor that you're engaged... again.”
Brenda clapped her hands over her eyes. “Good Lord,” she said. “No way!”
She took her hands away and a feathery black object dropped onto her cheek.
Nancy leaned forward. “What is that?”
Brenda's eyes crossed as she focused on the thing on her face, and hysteria jolted her out of her chair. “Spider,” she shrieked, jumping around, slapping at her face. “Spider, spiderl”
Nancy and I were mouths open, eyes wide, watching the television. Even Ranger turned his attention from his phone call to the show.
A stagehand rushed onto the set, tackled Brenda, and dragged her back to her chair.
“What was that?” Brenda asked. “Is it gone? Is it dead?”
One of the anchors picked the thing off the floor and looked at it. “It's a strip of eyelashes.”
Brenda blinked and put a finger to her eye. “Oh shit!”
Nancy's face went white. “She just said shit on television. And if that isn't awful enough, she looks ridiculous. She's only got lashes on one eye.”
“It's not my bad,” I said. “I swear. She rubbed her eyes! Everyone knows you don't rub your eyes when you've got lashes glued on!”
“I wouldn't worry about it,” Ranger said. “No one looks at her eyes.”
Five minutes later, Brenda stormed into the room. “That was so hideous,” she said, teeth clenched. “My eyelash fell off. Did you see it? I thought it was a spider.” She looked around the room, finally finding me. “You!” she said, pointing her finger. “This is all your fault. You're the one who glued the eyelash. You said you knew what you were doing, but obviously that was a lie.”
“You rubbed your eye. The eyelash would have been fine if you hadn't rubbed your eye.”
“I'm leaving now,” Brenda said, head high. “And I don't want this horrible liar in my car. Does everybody understand that?”
“She's part of your security detail, and she's going in your car,” Ranger said.
“Then I'm not going.”
“No problem,” I said. “I'll ride in one of the other cars, and we'll sort this out later.” Hallelujah! With any luck, I'd get fired.
Ranger's men stayed with the cars at the hotel's side entrance. Ranger, Nancy, and Brenda had taken the elevator to Brenda's floor. And I was waiting in the lobby. Ranger's orders. Hard to tell what would happen next, but I suspected I wouldn't be seeing the concert.
I saw the stalker coming at me from across the room. He was smiling and waving like we were old friends.
“Hi,” he said. “Remember me?”
“Of course, I remember you. You're the stalker.”