We all knew who was late. Joe. The pot roast and green beans and mashed potatoes were set on the table, and Joe's chair was empty. My father sliced up the roast and took the first piece.
Grandma plopped a glob of potatoes onto her plate and passed right. My mother looked at her watch. No Morelli. Mary Alice made horse sounds with her tongue and galloped her fingers around her water glass.
'Gravy,' my father said.
Everyone jumped to attention and passed him the gravy.
I had a plate heaped with meat and potatoes smothered in gravy.
I had a buttered roll, four green beans, and a beer. I'd taken the food, but I hadn't yet dug in. I was having an inner dialogue with my stupid self. Eat it, the stupid self was saying. You need it to keep up your strength. And suppose you get run over by a truck tomorrow and die? What then? You'll have dieted for nothing. Eat and enjoy!
My mother was watching. 'You're not that fat,' she said. 'I always thought you were too thin.'
Kloughn picked his head up and looked around. 'Who's fat? Am
I fat? I know I'm a little roly-poly. I've always been like that.'
`You're perfect, Snuggy Uggums,' Valerie said.
Grandma knocked back her glass of wine and poured another.
A car door slammed shut at the curb, and everyone sat straight and still in their seat. A moment later, the front door opened, and
Morelli walked in.
'Sorry I'm late,' he said to my mother. 'I was stuck at work.' He moved next to me, dropped a friendly kiss on the top of my head, and took his seat.
There was a collective sigh of relief. My family feared Morelli was my last shot at marriage. Especially now that I was fat.
'What's new?' I asked Morelli.
'Nothing's new.'
I made a show of looking at my watch.
'Don't push it,' Morelli said softly, smiling for the family. 'Are you still driving the truck? I didn't see it out front.'
'It's in the garage.'
'Are you really going after Ward?'
'It's my job.'
Our eyes locked for a moment, and I felt the handcuff clamp around my left wrist.
'You've got to be kidding,' I said, holding my wrist up for inspection, the remaining bracelet dangling loose.
'Private joke,' Morelli said to the rest of the table. Then he clicked the other half of the cuffs onto his right wrist.
'Kinky,' Grandma said.
'I can't eat like this,' I told Morelli.
'You eat with your right hand, and I cuffed the left.'
'I can't cut my meat. And besides, I have to go to the bathroom.'
Morelli gave his head a single shake. 'That is so lame,' he said.