If Lula said get out one more time I was going to choke her until her tongue turned blue and fell out of her head.
“And you're probably in danger when you hang with me,” I told Lula. “I'd understand if you wanted to bail.”
“Are you shitting me? Danger's my middle name.”
Stephanie Plum 9 - To The Nines
Chapter Seven
We were out of Joe's neighborhood and moving across town. Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet.
I was checking the rearview mirror now. I didn't want a second dart between the shoulder blades. It was time to be vigilant. I had no indication that the creep who was stalking me knew I was living with Joe. And I was riding in Lula's car. So maybe today would be uneventful.
We hit Route 1 and I noticed there was a cooler on the backseat. “Are you still on the diet?” I asked. “Is the cooler filled with vegetables?”
“Hell no. That was a bogus diet. You could waste away and die on that diet. I'm on a new diet. This here's the all-?protein diet that I'm on. I'm going to be a supermodel in no time on this diet. All I have to do is stay away from the carbs. Carbohydrates are the enemy. I can eat all the meat and eggs and cheese I want, but I can't eat any bread or starch or any of that shit. Like, I can have a burger but I can't eat the roll. And I can only eat the cheese and grease on the pizza. Can't eat the crust.”
“How about doughnuts?”
“Doughnuts are gonna be a problem. Don't think there's anything I can eat on a doughnut.”
“So what's in the cooler?”
“Meat. I got ribs and rotisserie chicken and a pound of crispy bacon. I can eat meat until I grow a tail and moo. This is the best diet. I can eat things on this diet that I haven't been able to eat in years.”
“Like what?”
“Like bacon.”
“You always eat bacon.”
“Yeah, but I feel guilty. It's the guilt that puts the weight on.”
Lula turned into the industrial park and wound around some until she came to TriBro.
“Now what?” she asked. “You want me to go on in with you? Or you want me to stay here and guard the chicken?”
“Guard the chicken?”
“Okay, so I'm gonna eat the chicken. That's the good part of this diet. You eat all the time. You could shove pork roast and leg of lamb down your throat all day long and it's okay. Long as you don't have biscuits with it. I had a steak for breakfast. A whole steak. And then I had a couple eggs. Is that a diet, or what?”
“Sounds a little screwy.”
“That's what I thought at first, but I bought a book that explains it all and now I can see where it makes sense.”
“Keep your eyes open while you're guarding the chicken. I shouldn't be more than a half hour. Call me on my cell if you see anyone suspicious in the lot.”
“You mean like someone setting up a dart gun?”
“Yeah. That would be worth a phone call.”
I'd gotten in touch with Andrew first thing this morning, before leaving the house. I told him I needed some information and he said he'd be happy to help. Andrew, the people person. Hopefully I could get to him without crossing paths with Bart. I hated to admit it, but I was afraid of Bart.
I did a brisk walk across the lot to the building entrance and hurried through the large glass door. The woman at the desk smiled and waved me through to Andrews office. I thanked her on a whoosh of expelled air. I'd just had two bad parking lot experiences and many of my body functions, like breathing, now stopped when I set foot on parking lot pavement.
Andrew stood and smiled when I entered his office. “You didn't say much on the phone. How's the Singh search going?”
“We're making progress. I'm looking for a woman named Susan. I was hoping you could check through your employee list and pull out the Susans.”