I froze with a doughnut halfway to my mouth.
“See, DeChooch made a deal with the Dougster to take the heart to Richmond,” Mooner said. “But DeChooch didn't tell the Dougster anything except that the cooler had to be delivered to Mrs. D. So the Dougster put the cooler on the front seat of the Batmobile, figuring he'd take off first thing in the morning. Only problem was my roommate Huey and me got to wanting some Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia at about midnight and borrowed the Batmobile for our quest. Since the Batmobile only has two seats I put the cooler on the back stoop.”
Dougie was grinning. “This is so excellent,” he said.
“So anyway, Huey and me brought the car back super early the next morning because Huey had to be at work at Shoppers Warehouse. I dropped Huey off, and when I parked the car in Dougie's yard the cooler was tipped over and Spotty was chewing on something. I didn't think much. I mean, Spotty's always in the garbage. So I put the cooler back in the car and went home to watch some morning television. Katie Couric is like, so cute.”
“And then I took the empty cooler to Richmond,” Dougie said.
“Spotty ate Louie D's heart,” I said.
“That's it,” Mooner said. He finished his doughnut and wiped his hands on his shirt. “Well, we've got to go. Things to do.”
“Thanks for the doughnuts.”
“Hey, no problemo.”
I stood in the kitchen for ten minutes, trying to come to terms with this new information, wondering if it meant something in the larger scheme of things. Is this what happens when you irreparably screw up your karma? A dog eats your heart? I couldn't reach any conclusions, so I decided to take a shower and see if that helped.
I locked the door and shuffled off to the bathroom. I got as far as the living room when there was another knock, and before I could get to the door it was opened with enough force to make the security chain kaching into place and then break loose from its moorings. This was followed by cussing, which I recognized as coming from Morelli.
“Good morning,” I said, eyeing the chain, which was dangling uselessly.
“Not by any stretch of the imagination is it a good morning,” Morelli said. His eyes were dark and narrowed and his mouth set tight. “You didn't go over to Pinwheel Soba's house last night, did you?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Not me.”
“Good. That's what I thought . . . because some idiot went in there and destroyed it. Shot the shit out of it. In fact, it's suspected there were two people having the gunfight of the century in there. And I knew you wouldn't be that fucking stupid.”
“Got that right,” I said.
“Jesus Christ, Stephanie,” he yelled, “what were you thinking? What the hell was going on over there?”
“Wasn't me, remember?”
“Oh yeah. I forgot. Well then, what do you suppose someone else was doing in Soba's house?”
“I imagine they were looking for DeChooch. And then maybe they found DeChooch and an altercation arose.”
“And DeChooch escaped?”
“That would be my guess.”
“Good thing no prints were found other than DeChooch, because otherwise whoever was fucking stupid enough to shoot up Soba's house would not only be in trouble with the police but would answer to Soba.”
I was starting to get annoyed that he was still yelling at me. “Good thing,” I said with my PMS voice. “Anything else?”
“Yes, there's something else. I ran into Dougie and Mooner in the parking lot. They told me you and Ranger rescued them.”
“So?”
“In Richmond.”
“So?”
“And Ranger got shot?”
“Flesh wound.”