“Listen,” I shouted back, “I was due. And it's none of your business anyway.”
“He calls everyone a devil whore,” Ranger said.
“Oh.”
Norvil planted his feet wide. “I'm not going anywhere.”
I looked at the stun gun on Ranger's utility belt. “How about we zap him?”
“You can't zap me,” Norvil said. “I'm an old man. I got a pacemaker. You screw up my pacemaker and you'll be in big trouble. It could even kill me.”
“Boy,” I said, “that's tempting.”
Ranger took a roll of duct tape off his gun belt and taped Norvil's legs together at the ankles.
“I'm gonna fall over,” Norvil said. “I can't stand like this. I got a drinking problem, you know. I fall over sometimes.”
Ranger got Norvil by the armpits and tipped him backward. “Grab his feet,” he said. “Let's get him to the car.”
“Help!” Norvil yelled. “I'm being kidnapped! Call the police. Call the Muslims!”
We got him to the second-?floor landing, and he was still yelling and wriggling. I was working hard to hold him. Egg and flour were caked in my hair, I smelled like pickle brine, and I was sweating like a pig. We started down the second flight; I missed a step and slid the rest of the way on my back.
“No problem,” I said, hoisting myself up, wondering how many vertebrae I'd cracked. “You can't keep Wonder Woman down.”
“Wonder Woman looks a little beat,” Ranger said.
Regina and Deborah were sitting on their stoop when we hauled Norvil out.
“Lord, girl,” Regina said. “What happened to you? You look like a big corn dog. You've been all breaded up.”
Ranger opened the Range Rover's rear door, and we tossed Norvil inside. I limped around to the passenger side and stared at the pristine leather seat.
“Don't worry about it,” Ranger said. “You get it dirty I'll just get a new car.”
I was pretty sure he was kidding.
* * * * *
I WAS on the small front porch, rooting around in my bag, looking for the key to Morelli's house when the door opened.
“I'm not even going to make a guess on this one,” Morelli said.
I pushed past him. “You know Norvil Thompson?”
“Old guy. Robs stores. Goes nuts when he drinks . . . which is always.”
“Yep. That's Norvil. I helped Ranger bring him in.”
“I take it Norvil wasn't ready to go.”
“Threw everything he had at us.” I looked down at myself. “I need a shower.”
“Poor baby. I could help.”
“No! Don't come near me!”
“This isn't about the cookie jar, is it?”