I didn’t know, and I simply laughed along to be polite. A couple of people asked me questions, which I answered, but they didn’t really pay much attention to me otherwise.
It was nice to hang out with people—I didn’t do that very often—but I didn’t have much to share in the conversation. We stayed long enough to have two drinks before the party started to die down a little bit and a couple of people left. Hank finished his second drink and contemplated a third but decided against it when his girlfriend sent him a text message—that was my cue to leave as well because I didn’t know anyone there except for him.
“It was nice to meet all of you.” I gave the people at the table a polite nod as I started to stand up.
Tatum, one of the waitresses that worked at the restaurant, looked up at me and smiled. “I probably need to go as well—I’m supposed to be meeting my parents for dinner. You’ll have to hang out with us again sometime.”
“Blah…” Colton, one of the guys that worked at the concierge desk, let out a long sigh. “I’m not drinking alone, so I guess I’m going home too.”
The four of us left together and rode the elevator back down to the lobby. I got the impression that Tatum and Colton might be a couple based on their interaction in the elevator—or they were just really flirty after two drinks. If Hank noticed, he didn’t say anything—he seemed to be too focused on his cell phone and replying to whatever text message that had made him decide that a third drink wasn’t a good idea. I decided to pull mine out and see if I had any messages as well—not that I expected anyone to message me.
“Oh crap…” I felt around in my purse and sighed. “I think I left my cell phone at the bar.”
“Want me to go with you to look for it?” Hank glanced over at me.
“Nah, I’ll be okay.” I shook my head back and forth.
The three of them left the elevator once the doors opened, and I hit the button to take me back to the third floor. I remembered pulling out my cell phone at some point during the conversation, so it was either on the table or in the booth where I was sitting. Thankfully, the Pembroke wasn’t the kind of place where your phone would disappear if you left it unattended for a couple of minutes. I walked into the bar and found it in the booth—and as expected, I didn’t have any messages, go figure.
I tucked my phone into my purse, turned around, and nearly tripped over my own two feet when I saw Damien Sinn walk into the bar. He didn’t really look around or seem to be focused on anything except getting a drink. I tried not to stare, but he was even more attractive than I realized up close—he was hot. I felt a weird flutter in my stomach. The next thing I knew, I was walking to the bar and sitting down. The bartender came over and put a napkin on the counter in front of me—it would have been incredibly awkward at that point if I didn’t order a drink. I asked for a glass of red wine, which was what I was drinking earlier. Tatum recommended it, but I couldn’t remember the name, so I just pointed at the bottle behind the bartender—I hoped it wasn’t expensive.
One more drink—then I’ll leave. It’s not like I would ever have the courage to actually talk to him…
Chapter Four
Damien
I came to the Pembroke for the same reason I always did—to be closer to Caroline’s memory—but something had changed. It didn’t feel like she was there anymore. I couldn’t even close my eyes and pretend. Maybe the chaos in my head was just too intense, or my heart had begun to mend itself after five long years without her. People said it would get easier in time, but I refused to let it get easier. That felt like a betrayal to her memory—a betrayal to the love we shared—but deep down, I knew she would have never wanted me to turn the Pembroke into a mausoleum for the memories we made there.
“Can I get another whiskey?” I pushed my empty glass towards the bartender.
“Yes sir.” He picked up the bottle. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in here…”
“Yeah it has.” I nodded in agreement as he poured my drink.
I normally do my drinking alone…
Caroline was the only woman I ever loved, and a cruel twist of fate took her away from me. It was raining that night. We were supposed to be going to our engagement party at a business associate’s house. I got a call from my grandfather about an issue with a social media platform we launched for one of our clients, so I had to swing by the office first. I promised to meet her at the party before it started, but when I arrived at Benson Estate a few hours later, I found out that she never made it. A part of me died with her that night—I didn’t think I would have an emotional response to anything around me again—but anger was stronger than despair, and my father gave me plenty of reasons to feel that after she passed.
“One more I think…” I pushed my empty glass back to the bartender.
“Right away, sir.” He nodded and reached for the bottle.
I tried not to wallow in my misery as life handed me reasons to do so. I threw myself into my work, started seeing a therapist, and I even went on a couple of dates a few years after Caroline passed. None of it seemed to work. My grandfather decided to name my father as the next CEO of Sinn Technology, my therapist seemed more interested in writing prescriptions than helping me find a real solution to my problems, and I didn’t feel anything for the women I tried to date. I found solace in my trips to the Pembroke —even if it was just a placebo—but if it had finally stopped working, then I had no idea how I was going to pull myself back from the edge when I came dangerously close to it.
Maybe it’s time for me to finally let go…
Three drinks were barely enough to get me buzzed, but I knew that a couple more would probably push me in the wrong direction emotionally. I needed to just go upstairs, pack my stuff, and head back to the house. There was no reason to sleep at the Pembroke Hotel if it wasn’t going to give me the comfort I was searching for. It was too damn depressing. I didn’t want to sour the good memories if they were locking themselves away. The harsh reality was that I had been going through the routine as the connection faded for some time, but I did my best to cling to it—because I was scared to let go—but the time had come for me to try and figure out what life after Caroline actually looked like.
“Are you done, sir?” The bartender walked over when I finished my drink.
“Yeah.” I nodded and sighed.
I gave the bartender a generous tip and started to stand. As I turned, I caught a woman at the end of the bar staring before she immediately looked in the other direction. I recognized her—it took me a couple of seconds to realize that she was the new girl I saw at the front. That pause as I tried to figure out why she looked familiar was long enough for me to see her glance in my direction again—then immediately divert her gaze like she had just been caught doing something wrong. Her cheeks blushed, which was quite noticeable because she had a fair complexion. Instead of walking to the door, I sat back down—I didn’t even know why—I just seemed to react to what I saw without really thinking about it.
“Did you decided to have one more?” The bartender tilted his head inquisitively.
“Yeah…” I nodded aimlessly. “And get the lovely auburn-haired woman at the end of the bar another glass of wine—put her drinks on my tab.”