“How is this not lasting?” I ask her, pushing back.
“Would you hold me, then? I deserve a reward, don’t I?” Her pleas are voiced in a teasing manner, her wide eyes still glinting with vulnerability.
My intention is to pull her in for a hug. But as I reach for her, something else takes over. I don’t put my hands on her shoulders. I reach for her face, take her chin in my hand, and pull her to me.
And kiss her.
Right there on the riverwalk.
Ella’s lips part for me and she makes a little noise into my mouth, a contented sigh. Fuck, she tastes good. Sweet and delectable. I run my tongue along the seam of her lips and she lets me in. It’s so easy, and so right, like she was made for me. Like my whole life was dragging me here by the hand.
Boundaries be damned.
My little bird presses close to me, her body warm against mine, and I find both hands in her hair, both hands pulling her in. I don’t want her far from me. I don’t want her anywhere out of my sight. I want this forever.
And if I’m honest, which I haven’t been—not with Cade, not with Damon, not with myself—I want her so badly it hurts. Kissing her shoves the truth out into broad daylight. Punishing her will never be enough. Making her come will never be enough. A quick, hard fuck would do nothing to kill this craving. With her, it wouldn’t stop until I’d had my fill. Until I’d tasted each of her boundaries and all her sadness and let her see mine as well. Let her tear them all down.
Ella kisses me back, harder than before, and then she comes up for air. It tastes sweet and crisp, like this autumn breeze. But nothing is as sweet as her arms around my neck. She leans back into my hands, trusting me to hold her up.
“Z,” she whispers.
“Little bird.”
I untangle her arms from my neck, but it’s the last thing I want to do. Reality is setting in. We’re out behind the brunch restaurant, where anyone could see. I’ve lost track of time. I have no idea how long I tasted her. How long I lost myself in her mouth and her touch.
“Are you ready?” I question her. I’ll be right there beside her with whatever excuse or escape she needs when we return to that table.
“I want to use the restroom before we go back.”
“Go ahead,” I tell her. “I’ll wait for you by the stairs.”
She turns my hand in hers so she can press a kiss to my knuckles. “Are you okay?”
“Are you?”
Her grin lifts up the corners of her mouth, and I can’t help myself—I press my thumb to that curve and then run it over her cheekbone. “I’m good,” Ella says. “I just had a little moment.” With a small shake of her head, a laugh gets away from her. “I’d rather stay out here and kiss you. But my friends will wonder where we went.”
“Mmm,” is all I can say, and my hum of approval is low and deep. As would I.
Ella rises on tiptoe and kisses my cheek, a brief heat against my skin, and then she’s gone, moving back through the alley.
I’m about to turn around and let the railing keep me from collapsing when I see him.
Damon.
At the corner of the building, his eyes on Ella as she enters the small restroom beside the alley. My heart pounds. Damon comes to a stop a foot in front of me, and when he looks into my eyes, I know.
He saw.
He saw everything.
Damon slips his hands in his pockets, his jaw working. There are probably a hundred things he’d like to say to me right now, and I tense, waiting for the worst of them. How I’ve put Ella at risk. How I’ve been dishonest. How I could truly fuck things up for The Firm, and, by extension, for him. The silence gets painful.
The worst of it is that admitting any of it threatens to take her away from me.
There’s no judgment in his words, only disapproval in his expression when he states, “You have to tell your brother.”
Ella
While emotional attachments between clients and members of The Firm are expected, these attachments will be carefully managed so they do not compromise the safety of the client or any member of The Firm.
All I keep thinking about is how well it went. I hadn’t realized how much I missed them. I missed going out, I missed laughing, I missed seeing the people I love.
There’s still a pounding anxiousness in my chest that won’t quit. It’s been there since this morning and it hasn’t left me for a moment, other than one.
When Zander cupped my chin, when he let me deepen the kiss, when he pulled me in close to him and there wasn’t a thing separating us.