Fuck.
I am not, not, going to think about that in this room. Not when I’m in full view of my fucking therapist.
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it. What I am saying is that if you’re going to move forward, it might be worth calling in backup.”
“What do you mean exactly?”
“Having a second person in the room, or at least aware of the situation. Someone else on the team, to ensure there’s another party present to measure any differences you might not see because you’re so close to this situation.”
Someone like Damon.
“I’m keeping a professional distance.”
“Of course,” says Harrison. “Of course.”
“If I were to go through with this …”
“It would be wise for someone to be aware, in case you are blinded.”
“So long as someone else is watching her?” I leave the question half spoken, knowing full well she has a team taking every precaution to monitor her from her sleeping hours to her weekly weigh-in.
“So long as she is in the right mind to consent … and so long as you maintain your professional distance. You are aware that these relationships can be helpful, but you know they can also bring dependency and other emotions. You must be prepared for that, if that case arises.”
Ella
The Firm will work with the client to arrange for the deployment of partners with best endeavors to conduct the offered services. All personnel is at the client’s discretion.
Everything about this moment was intentional. From the way the skirt lays across the sofa, to how I loosely tie the wrap top to show off a little more cleavage. My long-sleeved cotton dress with a floral print in fall tones is new.
Some of the other details may have been for a photo op with Kamden, like actually applying makeup and false lashes. He’s just left, snapping a quick picture before leaving through the back door as Zander strode in. But all of it, I chose with him in mind. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to dress up and look pretty. Even longer since I thought of a man while doing it.
“You look gorgeous.” Zander’s statement catches me by surprise. There’s nothing guarded about it. My blush rises up my cheekbones and burns at my temples. The things this man does to me is heady.
“Thank you,” I whisper, still taken aback as he takes a seat across from me in our blue room of sexual tension. It’s what I’ve dubbed it now that I’ve spent more time in this room with him playing with fire, than I’ve been in this room with anyone else since purchasing the home years ago.
“You cut it … and it’s lighter.” The manner in which he gives his observation is comical and offers me a warmth I’ve missed since I told him to sleep well before going to bed last night.
I shrug, as if this all isn’t for him, and say, “Blonds have more fun.”
“Hmm.” His hum is approving, yet questioning all at once. “You’re happy with it?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Then I approve,” he tells me and I suck in a breath, ready to toy with him. To let him know his approval is irrelevant and I wasn’t aiming for it. I’m certain it would get under his skin and he’d flex that hand of his as he did the other night. Before I can usher out a word, Zander takes his normal seat with a seriousness that silences me.
He’s wearing his usual black jeans and a matching tee, but there’s something different about the air around him tonight. With his thumb moving over each finger, he cracks his knuckles and tells me, “It’s been two weeks. I believe there are benchmarks you could meet so long as we establish boundaries …”
“Boundaries?” I repeat, lifting a challenging brow. I didn’t expect him to pick up the conversation right where we left off. Typically he offers me more foreplay than this.
“Yes. And since we’re being blunt, I expect you to behave. I expect you to listen to me. Is that clear?” Heat rises through me. Before I can tease him, asking what I’d get out of it, he adds, “I will ensure you are rewarded justly.”
“Justly?” I echo the word, feeling suffocated. It’s hard to imagine this is happening. That it’s real life, this man across from me promising me things only one other man has before. It took ages for James to take me in. Years of occasional fucks, which were enjoyable, but casual, before either of us decided we wanted more. Before we … got together like this. My throat is dry with the memory but Zander’s steady voice commands my attention.
“I need you to agree to that. To listen to me.”
“Ever the Dominant, to speak of your needs.” I utter the word out loud, so there is nowhere to hide any longer.