This is different. I cannot get her voice out of my head. Ella was so blunt with those words. So bold. I’m hard as a rock. My entire body is tight with the need for release. To pin her to the wall and fuck her raw.
I’ve always known this situation was different. From the moment Cade described this contract, I’d known there was a higher chance that the client might develop feelings for one of us, or for all of us. But the way Ella looked at me—
That sure as hell wasn’t as “a member of The Firm.”
She knows. She must have an inkling of what I’m like, or she wouldn’t have looked me in the eye the way she did. Like she knew I could indulge her in a D/s relationship. I could take control and let her breathe. I could give her freedom without worry.
Impossible. It’s impossible for her to know those things. There are no videos of me on the internet to give her any suspicion. No videos, but … I can taste the words on my tongue all over again. The memory of the first command I gave her lingers. Don’t say that to me. Ever.
I’d ordered her. Commanded her. And Ella’s eyes had gone wide for a fraction of a second. Long enough for me to see the desire there. As well as the complete obedience.
I take another deep breath and do what I’ve been trained to do. I assess the situation. There are no signs of danger. I assess the immediate needs of the client. She seems to want to be speaking to her manager. I assess my position and I find it lacking. I need to get my shit together.
Rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hand, I commit myself to giving her space to absorb our conversation. I will be more direct, more firm in the next.
So I pour myself a cup of coffee. Ella’s been preparing a pot before I arrive. It’s always hot and fresh when I walk through the door, the scent of coffee wafting from the kitchen.
I know damn well I should announce myself, but I move slowly through the house as I make my way back to them. Kam’s still talking.
“It’s just best, babe, if you get back into a routine. Your sponsors miss you, and you know how they are. I convinced them to pause their support instead of dropping you. You have not lost them. Not a single one.”
“Thank you, I do know that … well, I know how they can be,” Ella agrees. “You think we’ll lose them if I’m … if I’m not the same?” There’s no restraint in her tone, but she’s not pushing back at him, either. It sounds like a conversation between two people who know each other very well. Jealousy pushes out against my ribs. Four-count breaths. I only manage one set of four, but it eases the pressure some.
“You might.” Kamden’s doing his best not to be pushy, but his best isn’t good enough. Why does he want her doing sponsorship deals so badly? She’s in the care of The Firm. Adding more to her plate right now doesn’t strike me as the best idea. But still, I don’t interrupt. I do make a mental note to discuss these changes with Damon, or at least ensure Kam’s already communicated this with him.
“I’m not sure what all I can do. I don’t want to come off—”
“It won’t be the same,” he interjects, almost too quickly. “Just a few to dip your toes in and remind them you still exist.”
Ella does exist.
She called me Z.
My hand tightens on the handle of the coffee mug. I’d kill to hear her say that again. It was familiar and sexy and totally off-limits. She can’t use a nickname like that. That’s crossing a line.
I know that, and I also know that if she does it again, I won’t stop her. I can’t think about what I’ll do if she announces she’d fuck me again.
“Finances are still steady?” Ella questions. Have I missed part of the conversation?
“Of course, I’ve taken care of it all. This is … it’s about your security,” Kam replies. “It’s easier to get sponsorship deals if you already have some. Stay out of the public eye long enough, and you’ll be starting from zero. I won’t have it. But they’re messaging me. They’re asking when they’ll see a return.”
A low laugh. It sends a shock straight through me, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Ella’s laugh is a broken thing. Her voice is still damaged. But it has a light, sultry ring to it that makes my toes curl again. “You don’t think I’ve been out of the public eye too long already?”
“No, I don’t. Really. I think if you jump in now, you’ll be just fine.”