Did I really just want to curl up under the covers and sleep? Yep. But this wasn't about me. There would be other days off.
"Yeah," Shep agreed, but his gaze had gone to his plate.
"Hey," I said, reaching out, putting my hand gently on the wrist that had been made smaller and paler thanks to the cast he'd just had removed a few weeks before. He had physical therapy for it once a week. On the days he didn't, he was supposed to be doing exercises at home. I was almost certain he wasn't doing them. I knew I should have pressed it. But I just didn't have the energy for another fight. "This is good. It's important. You used to have a big circle. And now it's just... me."
"You used to have a circle too, Holl."
"Not really," I said, shrugging. "I had coworkers."
"And a man."
"It wasn't serious." We'd only been dating for a few months, and, honestly, with some distance, I could see that I'd really just been going along with it because it was nice to have someone to hang out with, not because of actual feelings.
"Still. You gave all that up."
"I'll make new friends," I assured him, even if my track record for such things wasn't exactly on my side. I could adopt an open and extroverted demeanor when I slipped into my hideous work uniform, but it wasn't who I was outside of it. I'd always been more shy and reserved, never one to reach out to others.
Besides, how did adults even make friends if they weren't coworkers? It wasn't like when we were five on the playground and walked up and asked a strange kid to be our friends.
I'd get pepper-sprayed if I tried to do that to strange adults.
"And a new man?" Shep asked, smirking, and I knew exactly where this was going. "Perhaps a tall wall of a man with, oh, how did you describe his eyes?" he asked even as I grumbled, getting up, grabbing our plates, and making my way toward the kitchen. "Oh, that's right. They were 'keen and full of kindness'."
"Shut up," I grumbled, feeling my ears heat up as I put the dishes in the sink. There was a pile from the day before. I knew I should deal with them before they got out of control. But Shep was in a decent mood, which meant I could slip away for a much-needed shower. The dishes would have to wait.
"Didn't you say something about his hands too?" Shep asked as I moved back out of the kitchen. He'd turned his chair to face me, always needing to see the embarrassment he'd instilled. Brothers.
"Nope. Absolutely not," I lied, not even halfway convincingly. I had. I wasn't sure exactly what I'd said, but judging by the number of times I'd thought of those massive hands—in very tame, and not tame at all ways—I was sure I'd let something slip to my brother about them as well.
"No, you did. I swear it was about being able to crush trees with them or something," he said, searching for the memory. Which was hard for him some days because of the medication he was on.
"Keep it up and I'll start teasing you about the pretty girl at the doctor's office," I said, watching as a darkness came over his eyes.
Damnit.
I knew it was a bad idea to bring up women. Which always reminded him that he was sure he would never find one who wanted a man as 'broken' as he was. That was the phrase he'd used with me one night. He'd called himself 'broken.' My heart cracked for him in that moment even as I tried to remind him that he wasn't broken, just some parts of him, and that he was healing.
"That's never going to happen," he said, voice tense.
"Yes, well, nothing is going to happen with me and Malcolm either."
Chapter Three
Malcolm
"Oh, fuck," Fallon hissed as the cars started to roll up into the yard out front. "What are the girls doing here?"
"They're here?" I asked, stiffening, looking over at Rowe. "I was supposed to pick them up from Hope's place."
"Well, they're here. Shit. Is that Billie?" Fallon asked, looking back at Rowe as well.
I guess it was too much to ask that the secret be kept for much longer.
"Yeah, Billie always goes," I said.
She'd gone ahead and gotten herself a career as a massage therapist. And yoga instructor. And about half a dozen other new-agey shit. Which allowed her to make her own schedule. So she never missed a night out with the girls whereas Hope sometimes had a case to work on, and Willa could get caught up at the office.
"Does she know I prospected?" Rowe asked, drawing all our guilty gazes. "Guess not," he said with a sigh as he reached up to rub the back of his neck. "Should I disappear for a bit?"