She breathes heavily through her nose. “I would have gone with you to the doctor. You still haven’t told me who the father is.”
“Jake is the father.” I feel like I’m holding my breath, waiting for the axe to fall.
“Jake?” She makes the lemon-suck face again. “Is he someone you met at work?”
“No, Mom.” I could not be any less excited to explain this. “Jake, Queenie’s dad.”
Her eyes go wide and she blinks. And blinks again. “You’re pregnant with Ryan’s father-in-law’s child?”
“It was an accident.” I don’t know why I say this. It doesn’t matter that it was unintentional. It’s happening. I’m having a baby with Jake. End of story.
“An accident? I can’t believe you would do something so thoughtless! Poor Ryan. How is he going to handle this?” She presses her hand to her heart again and gives me the disappointed look I got three decades ago when I had to tell her I was pregnant the first time. “Did you think about the position you’re putting him in by doing this? My poor baby, I can’t even imagine how he feels.”
“He already knows.” My blood feels like it’s boiling. I know I need to calm down. This much stress isn’t good for me, or the baby, but my mom’s lack of support and three decades of baggage are a lot to manage. So I burst like a dam.
“And newsflash, Mom: Ryan is not your baby! He was mine. I carried him in my belly. I gave birth to him. He’s my son. And I know you like to live in a world that revolves around you and all the fantastic things you did for him and how you’re the reason he’s so goddamn successful, but I think you’re forgetting who it was who drove him to all of his hockey practices as a kid. I’m the one who woke up at five on Saturday mornings and took him to ice time. I went to all of his games. I was there every step of the way, too.” I drive home the point by stabbing the counter with my finger.
“In fact, he took his first steps with me, not you, because you had book club with your friends. But I never told you because I didn’t want you to be upset that you missed it, even though I missed a million of his firsts and you told me about every single damn one! So you can cut the shit and the poor Ryan, poor you garbage. I don’t need you to tell me about all the things that can go wrong. I’m more than fucking aware.” I know there’s going to be fallout after this, but she needs to see this isn’t about Ryan.
My dad bursts into the house, followed by Gerald. “What in tarnation is going on here?”
“Go ahead, Hanna, tell your father what you’ve done.” My mother tips her chin up and looks down her nose at me.
“And rob you of the satisfaction? How could I?” I sneer.
She keeps her glare locked on me. “Hanna’s pregnant. Again.”
“Holy shitballs!” Gerald says. “For real? Like you’re knocked up? With a baby?”
“Gerald.” My dad raises a hand to stop him and gives me a bright, somewhat naïve smile. “Is this true, Hanna Banana? Are we finally gonna be grandparents like we always wanted?”
Leave it to my dad to try to turn it around when my mom and I are in the middle of a fight.
I’m exhausted from more than a quarter century of placating. “I already made you grandparents. Three decades ago.” I push out of the chair and head for the door. But I only make it a couple of steps before the world turns black.
_______________
MY PARENTS TAKE me to urgent care, and I message Paxton to meet us there, because I honestly can’t handle any more of my mother’s lectures or her tendency to steamroll and undermine my decisions. Especially since my blood pressure is a lot higher than they like.
Urgent care ends up calling Dr. Tumbler, and I’m put on blood pressure medication right away. And I have an appointment with her the following day.
The whole thing scares the crap out of me. I’m very glad Paxton is staying the night, because the alternative is staying at my parents’, and that’s where I went the last time I had complications. Gordon had been out of town for work, and I hadn’t wanted to stay in my house alone while I dealt with the loss.
“Your mother is damn lucky I was too worried about you to rip into her.” Paxton grips the steering wheel. She’s trying to keep it together, but I think she’s as rattled as I am.
“I knew the Jake part was going to be a thing, but I didn’t expect her to react quite so…badly.” It was a shock, one I obviously didn’t need.