King rubs at his bottom lip, possibly to hide his grimace, as he grumbles, “Queenie.”
She pats his leg. “It’s the truth, might as well get comfortable with it.”
King seems to pull himself together and his gaze bounces between the two of us. “Did you find out the gender?”
“We did,” I say and stretch my arm across the back of Hanna’s chair.
She leans into me and tips her chin up, eyes on me instead of the screen. “Do you want to tell them?”
I can’t tell how she’s feeling. I want to take the pressure off of her and give her and me permission to be excited to share this news. “Why don’t we tell them together?”
“On the count of three?” Her smile is full of silent gratitude.
She counts down from three to one while I do the drumroll on the table. “We’re having a baby—”
Hanna and I look at the screen as she says, “Boy!”
Queenie screams her delight and King, to his credit, plasters a smile on his face and tries his best not to get elbowed in the junk by my daughter, who’s flailing around like Kermit the Frog hopped up on methamphetamines.
“We’re going to have a baby brother, King! I’m so excited! Don’t you think Jax is a great name for a boy? But if you don’t use it, maybe we should use it when we have our first boy.”
“First boy?” King arches a brow.
Queenie rolls her eyes his way. “You’ve been talking about how we’re probably going to need a bigger house, and this place has five bedrooms. For sure, we’re going to have more than one boy.” She turns her attention back to the screen. “Are we the first to know? Are you telling anyone else?”
“Not yet. I think we want to wait a few more weeks before we do that.”
“Okay. Your secret’s safe with us, right, King?”
“Yup.” He makes a zipped lip gesture.
We talk for a few more minutes, until King reminds Queenie that she has another art therapy session soon.
It doesn’t escape my notice that when King says goodbye he doesn’t address me, and he refers to Hanna by her first name instead of “Momster.”
I get this is hard for him, but my biggest worry is that he’s going to inadvertently cause Hanna more stress and steal her joy. I don’t want to overstep, but I think he and I need to talk this out so I know where he’s coming from and we can work on figuring out our ever-changing relationship.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Stand by Me
Hanna
JAKE AND I spend the rest of the day organizing our schedules for the next few months. The plan is for him to fly here for ultrasounds and important doctor appointments, and for me to go to Seattle once a month, provided it remains safe for me to fly.
He mentions the possibility of one of us moving again and makes a case for me coming to Seattle. With Ryan there for the foreseeable future and his job being there, it would make sense to consider it. But I’m not ready yet to have this serious discussion. I’m still worried about the health of the baby, and I need to ensure his safety before I think about making major life changes.
I spend the week following Jake’s return to Seattle fretting over the upcoming family dinner on Sunday, which is when I plan to tell my parents that I’m pregnant. I skipped it last weekend and lied about why I couldn’t go since telling them I had company for the weekend would have resulted in questions I didn’t want to answer. I know my mom will support me, like she has the past two times, but she’s going to be worried about all the risks. And then there’s telling her who the father is. As if our family isn’t wonky enough.
On Sunday afternoon, I drive over to my parents’ place.
We’re having steak and baked potatoes on the barbecue. So far most of my cravings have been for fruit and chocolate. But I’ve always had a weak spot for chocolate, so I’m not sure if it’s a pregnancy craving so much as it’s my comfort food and my go-to when I’m stressed. Needless to say, I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate today.
Gerald is sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs, nursing a beer and tossing a Frisbee to Burton, my parents’ ancient golden retriever. “Hey, sis! How’s it going? Did you bring a pie? Is it cherry pie? I love cherry pie.”
I hold up the pie plate. “Sorry, Ger, it’s apple, do you think you’ll survive?”
“I have a feeling I’ll live through the disappointment since apple is my second favorite.” He grabs the Frisbee from Burton and tosses it again.
I take the plate straight into the house so neither Burton nor my brother gets any ideas. It’s happened before, with both of them.