“I’m sorry,” he murmurs into my ear.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I said I didn’t want anyone else in our relationship, in the bedroom, but by not getting rid of that shit, I brought them in.”
“Can I ask you a question?” It’s something I’ve been thinking about all day.
“You can always ask me anything.” He spins me around so we’re facing each other and backs me against the wall.
“Did you use those same toys on different women?”
He shakes his head. “Most of what you saw was still new. Only a couple toys had been used and I was planning to throw them away, but I forgot. I wasn’t about to drop a dildo into our garbage can.”
“So you keep a stash of toys for when women come over?”
“Came over,” he corrects. “Past tense, because the only woman I’ve been with in several months is you. But yeah.” He averts his eyes, looking slightly uncomfortable. “I kept them for when women came over.”
I nod even though he can’t see it since he’s not looking at me. “I better get out in case Hazel wakes up.” She’s actually a very good sleeper, and independent. She rarely cries or fusses. I’m afraid to think it’s because she was neglected.
He sighs but moves his hand so I can get out. After drying off and getting dressed, I go to bed, feigning sleep when Chase comes in a few minutes later. I feel the bed dip, but he doesn’t try to hold me like he usually does. I want to roll over and say something, but I’m upset and don’t know how to deal with it. He probably thinks I’m mad about the toys, but I’m not. I can’t change what he did before us nor would I want to. I love Chase the way he is. What I’m upset about it is the fact that we’ve been sleeping together for a while now and he hasn’t once tried or mentioned using a single toy.
Me: Can we meet without kids?
Lexi: Sure! Alec is off today so he can stay with Abigail. Where?
I type out the address of the location and tell her to meet me in an hour.
“I’m meeting with my sister,” I tell Chase, who’s lying on the floor, playing with Hazel.
“Everything okay?” he asks. We haven’t talked since I found the toys yesterday, and we need to. But first there’s something I need to do.
“Yeah, I won’t be gone long.”
I bend at the knees and give Hazel a kiss. She glances up at me and grins her adorable toothy grin. “I can pick up lunch on my way back.”
“Sounds good.”
I’m about to stand, when Chase grips the back of my neck and tugs me into him for a kiss that feels like so much more than just a kiss. It’s a plea, an apology, a declaration.
“I love you,” he murmurs against my lips.
“I love you too.”
“A sex shop?” Lexi laughs. “You kinky little bitch!”
I roll my eyes. “I found an entire drawer of sex toys in Chase’s room when we were moving his stuff from his room to mine.”
Lexi’s eyes go wide. “Damn, so Chase is the kinky one.”
“Nobody’s kinky,” I groan. “I read an article on sex toys and a lot of them help heighten the pleasure.”
“Hmm… Maybe I’ll pick out a few things to surprise Alec with.” Lexi waggles her brows.
We enter the store and the woman at the desk, who is dressed in sexy lingerie and wearing blood red lipstick, smiles. “My name is Jenn. Let me know if you need any help.”
I pull out my phone and open the list I’ve made. “I need to buy this stuff,” I tell her, turning the phone around so she can see it.
“Right this way.” She stops in front of a wall of dildos. “Do you know which size you’d like?”
I think about the article I read. It said to get one around the same size as your significant other’s. “Around eight inches.”
Lexi snorts, then laughs. “Oh my God. Is that the size of Chase’s dick?”
“Can you act like a mature adult about this, please?” I brought her here because I was scared to death to come alone, but now I’m rethinking that.
“Sorry. I’ll take one too. But make mine eight and a half inches.” She winks, and the woman laughs.
“Mine was a guess. I didn’t actually measure him.”
After we both pick out our choice of dildos, we move on to the next item.
“Oh, shit,” Lexi says. “Butt plugs? You’re totally going to let him in the back door, aren’t you? Now, that’s love.”
Jenn shakes with laughter. “This one is a customer favorite.” She hands me the silver teardrop-shaped toy. It’s kind of heavy and has a pretty blue jewel at the front of it. “You’ll need lube too.” She plucks a bottle off the shelf. “Never allow anyone in the back door without proper preparation.”