“Yes. No. Of course not. What do I have to be worried about? It’s all fine. Of course, it’s all fine.”
Luanna took both of her hands. “I’m not just anyone. I can see you’re stressing. Talk to me.”
Staring down at her friend’s hands, she sighed. “What if I’m not cut out for this?”
“In what way?”
“Being a mother? Half of the world population is gone. Women like me, we’re … different. I don’t know. I never thought I’d get pregnant.”
“You always figured the doctors were lying?”
“Yes.” Ashley pulled away from her friend. “I must sound awful.”
“No. You sound like a woman who is trying not to freak out and failing.”
Ashley groaned. “I should be ready for this. Repopulating the planet and all that. Why am I terrified?”
“Before you, you don’t think women were scared?”
“They were?”
“Absolutely. Of course, they were. Why wouldn’t they be? They’re bringing in another life, and babies have the way of complicating everything. Especially in the old world. Marriages, relationships, quite a few were set up purely because a baby was involved.” Luanna touched her stomach. “You have a gift.”
“I feel so guilty.” She swiped at the tears. “What if I’m a bad mom?”
“I won’t let you. We’re all in this together.”
She let out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about this.”
“You should totally be talking about this. I think you need to talk to Draven. It’s his child as well, and you both have to be in this together.” Luanna squeezed her hand. “You will always have me and everyone here. We all love and care for you. We all want to help bring this baby into the world. You’re going to have so much love and support, you’ll be begging for some space.”
Ashley smiled. Her fears hadn’t disappeared.
“I’ve got to head back. You’re going to be okay?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m totally fine. You know me.” She waved her hand in the air in an attempt to ward off her friend’s concern.
Luanna kissed her head, leaving her alone.
Leaning her head back on the sofa, Ashley closed her eyes. What if she was the worst mother in the world?
“You’re going to be the best mother in the world.”
She gasped, turning to see Draven standing near the back of the library. She hadn’t heard him come in.
“Draven,” she said.
He walked around the furniture, moving to sit beside her. Without asking for permission, he pulled her into his arms. “You’re scared?”
It was on the tip of her tongue to lie to him. Staring into his eyes, she knew it would be a mistake.
“I’ve never been so afraid of anything else in my life. I want to have this baby with you so much.” She rested his hands on her stomach, and she closed her eyes, feeling him surround her. Whenever he did this, she felt safe, warm, whole. He was the only one to ever make her feel this way, and she didn’t want to lose it. Not him, not ever again. “What makes you think I’m going to be a good mom?” she asked. “We don’t know what it’s going to be like having a child here?”
He kissed her neck as he chuckled. “I guess, I know you. I know how good and pure you are. I’ve watched you with the others here. You’re sweet and kind. Considerate. I also believe you’ve got what it takes to mother our child.”
“Why am I so afraid?”
“It’s new. We’re in a war zone. There’s no getting away from what we?