‘It didn’t work out,’ she told him. ‘Simple as that. And before you tell me that I’m a hypocrite, because I make such a big deal about the importance of taking relationship building seriously...’
‘Relationship building? What’s that?’
Something my mother never did, was the reply that immediately sprang to mind, but she bit it back because that would be perfect proof of just how much she had been influenced by her mother’s behaviour.
In truth, looking back on her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, she could see that it had been built on hope—hope that he might be the one because they got along and because he ticked all the boxes. Like her, he had been studying accountancy. He had been reliable, feet firmly planted on the ground, a solid, dependable sort. He had been just the type of guy who made sense.
‘It’s when two people take the time to really establish the building blocks of a future together.’
‘It sounds riveting. How do they do that?’
Kate lowered her eyes and remained silent.
‘Please don’t tell me you’re going to slip back into I couldn’t possibly say because I’m just your employee mode...’
‘I am just your employee.’
‘I’m giving you permission to speak your mind. Believe it or not...’ he sat back as enough breakfast to feed a small developing country was placed in front of them ‘...I do have conversations with some of my employees that don’t revolve exclusively around work...’
‘I doubt you’d understand the sort of building blocks I’m talking about,’ Kate told him politely. She stared at the mound of food facing her and wondered where to begin. She speared some egg and then eyed the tempting waffles at the side. ‘Considering you’re not into building relationships.’
‘Fill me in. I want to see what I’ve been missing.’
Kate looked at him with exasperation. The man was utterly impossible, even though the smile on his face was so charming that it would knock any woman for six. She hurriedly focused on her food as her heart picked up speed and started relaying all those taboo messages from her brain to her body.
‘I know you don’t mean a word of that,’ she retorted, glaring. ‘But if you’re really interested then I’ll tell you. Relationship building is taking time to get to know someone else—to find out all you can about them, to open up so that they can find out all about you, and to plan a future together based on love and friendship and respect.’
‘You’re not selling it.’
‘I’m not interested in whether I’m selling it or not,’ Kate snapped. ‘And I wouldn’t expect to sell it to you, anyway!’
‘So, having spent time on this relationship building exercise, at what point did you discover that the fun element was missing...?’
‘He was lots of fun.’
He hadn’t been. He had been nice and he had been steady, and he had been all those things she had thought she wanted, but when it had come to the crunch he had also been ultra-traditional. So traditional that he had wanted her to be the little lady whose career was secondary to his, who did as he asked, who dropped everything because he came first...
She felt a wave of self-pity as she realized that she would probably never find anyone. She would end up with a terrific career but next to no friends—and certainly no significant other doing the barbecue thing in the back garden.
And she would never know what it was like to have fun because she had always been adamant that having fun wasn’t important—so adamant that the only important thing in life was being in control and never letting herself get swept away by emotion as her mother had.
But right now, in the depths of Cornwall, and despite her chequered past with men and jobs, Shirley ‘Lilac’ Watson was pretty contented.
Kate abruptly closed her knife and fork and fought against the sudden confusion rolling over her like fog.
‘It just didn’t work,’ she said flatly. ‘The time wasn’t right. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t put my heart and soul into it. And that’s all I have to say on the subject—I don’t want to discuss it again. It’s not relevant. And it’s not always just about fun.’
This to try and stifle some of the sudden misgivings that had swept over her—dark thoughts that some of the choices she had made in her life might not have been the right ones, even if they had been made with all the right intentions.
‘You’re probably right.’
But she barely heard him. His soothing agreement floated around her and dissipated.
‘I know for...for some people...’ she only just managed not to pin him as one of those people she was talking about ‘...fun is all about sex, but as far as I’m concerned there’s a great deal more to relationships than sex...’
She glared at him defiantly, challenging him to argue with her, but Alessandro had no intention of doing any such thing.
He had never registered much interest in analyzing women, or trying to plumb their hidden depths, but in this instance he could see the pattern of her life as clearly as if it had been printed in bright neon letters across her forehead.
She had instilled such a strict code for herself that she was a prisoner of it. He doubted she had ever had any sort of fun with that ex-boyfriend of hers, and he wondered what fun she had now, with her stable job and her bright future. Her head told her what she needed, but what she needed was not necessarily what she wanted.
And he got the impression that she was thinking about that conundrum for the first time in her life.
Because he had rammed it down her throat.
On the one hand he had done her a favour. She was so uptight that she would snap in two given a slight breeze. Life was not kind to the seriously uptight. He was certain of that. They were always the ones who ended their lives thinking about all the things they’d strenuously resisted doing.
On the other hand she was visibly upset—and that was hardly a positive way for a boss to encourage his employee to start the day.
‘You haven’t finished your breakfast,’ he told her, indicating her plate.
She smiled, thankful for the change in conversation and the reprieve from her thoughts.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever sat in front of a bigger breakfast.’
‘Bigger is better—that’s the motto, I think. We can stick to the buffet tomorrow.’
‘I didn’t have much appetite anyway,’ Kate admitted. ‘I guess I really am nervous about what today’s going to bring. Normally I eat like a horse. Perhaps we should think about going.’ She dug into her capacious handbag and extracted her tablet. ‘I’ve brought along all the information I have on George, in case you want to sit down with him and go through it.’
Alessandro had no intention of doing any such thing, but he was relieved that she was back to normal—back to her usual efficient self, back to being the woman who matched the uniform of suits she always wore.
Even though those moments just then, when he had seen her vulnerability, had merged into the other moments when he had glimpsed the woman underneath the navy suits...strangely alluring, weirdly appealing...
Impatient with himself, he signalled a waiter in order to sign for the breakfast and flung his linen napkin next to his plate. ‘Right.’ He stood as he signed the bill. ‘Let’s get going.’
It was as though their very personal conversation had never happened. He was all business. Even without the business suit.
‘Shall we get a taxi there? Do you know whether it’s a long drive out of the city centre?’
‘We won’t need a taxi.’ He flicked his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolled though the numbers. ‘I’ve arranged to have my own driver for the duration of our stay here. More reliable and more convenient than trying to find a taxi when we need one.’
‘The limo...?’
‘No.’
They began strolling out to the street and she followed him as he expertly made his way through the grand hotel and the designer shopping centre that circled it.
He looked at her, his eyes creased with amusement. ‘I didn’t think that my conscience could stand the guilt caused by the carbon footprint.’
There he went again, she thought with a little flurry of desperation. Undoing all her plans to ignore him by being...funny. By saying something that made her want to smile, even though half an hour before she had been mentally snarling at him for invading her private life and asking personal questions.
He was also in business mode. She could sense that as they settled into the back of the car—a far more modest affair than the limo, though still sleek and impressive by most people’s standards.
The hotel was forty minutes’ drive away, which made it quite a distance out of the hub of downtown Toronto, and he turned to her and said, with a thoughtful frown, ‘Seems a little odd to head for a hotel in the hills when you’re spending vast sums of money on a city holiday—wouldn’t you agree?’
Kate gave that some thought and nodded. ‘Although some people hate cities.’
‘Then why holiday in one?’
‘His wife might like shopping.’ She grinned. ‘That’s one of those building-block situations I was telling you about. He hates cities and shopping, she loves them—so they go somewhere in between.’ She surprised herself by harking back to a conversation she wanted to forget, but at least it distracted her from the unpleasant task that lay ahead.