“I didn’t think of them getting any more kids. Freda always said I’d be the last one.”
“They must have needed the money,” I guessed with a shrug. “We both know it’s the only reason they fostered in the first place.”
“What happened?” Risk asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the tabletop. “After the kids were removed from their care?”
“Nothing . . . well, except for Owen being furious with me.”
“You told him what you did?”
Risk’s eyes were as wide as saucers.
“No, but he knows it was me,” I mused. “He asked enough times who gave filed complaints against him. I think he expected it to be you. But someone let it slip that a woman gave the information and he just guessed it was me. He can’t prove it though.”
Risk said nothing, he drank his tea in gulps and allowed my words to marinate.
“That man hates you because you’re successful, rich and famous. He can’t stand that you have the life you do while he is still here in Southwold with nothing to show for his life. I’d live an even better life if I was you; just knowing your happiness kills him slowly is all the revenge in the world that you’d ever need.”
Risk swallowed and, suddenly, he didn’t look like the big tough, rock star that he was. He looked exactly like he did the day after his thirteenth birthday when I told him I knew what he was going through. Without a thought, I leaned across the table and took his hand in mine.
“He’s never going to hurt you again, you know?” I strummed my thumb over his skin. “He is a pathetic waste of space, and you . . . you’re a superstar who chased his dreams when the odds were stacked against him, just like I knew you would.”
Risk threaded his fingers through mine and held my hand.
“I’ve missed you, Frankie.” He looked at me. “I’ve thought about you throughout the years. I should have reached out to contact you to see how you were doing, to see how your mum was doing but, after I left, looking back just wasn’t an option. Not until now, at least.”
I understood exactly what he meant. I couldn’t think of our times together, I couldn’t even hear him sing, or see his face, if I could help it. Doing those things were the only way I could function so I got it.
“I get it,” I said. “Sometimes looking forward is the only way we can keep going.”
“D’you think we can be friends?” Risk suddenly asked. “I know after I eventually leave here I probably won’t be back for a while, but I’d like to be able to call you now and then to see how you are, you know? I miss talking to you.”
Tell him no, Frankie.
I wanted to tell him that we belonged in each other’s pasts. I wanted to tell him to leave and never come back . . . but I wanted to tell him to stay with me too. It terrified me just how happy sitting, drinking tea and talking to him made me feel. It gave me a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in a very long time and I didn’t want that feeling to go away. I didn’t want Risk to go away. The very thought of going back to how I lived before he came home scared me, hiding behind my earphones and following the same schedule day after day made me feel trapped.
I didn’t realise how much until that moment.
“Is that a good idea?” I wondered. “Us being in each other’s lives after so long?”
“I think so,” Risk squeezed my hand. “I miss you, Cherry.”
Those four words melted me.
“I think we can be friends. We . . . we were friends before we got together, right?”
“Right.” Risk laughed a little. “We were. What’re you doing tomorrow?”
“Same thing I do every day. Work.” I snorted. “My shift tomorrow is from ten until five then I’m going to visit my mum.”
“Can I tag along?” Risk quizzed. “To see your mum?”
“Sure,” I nodded. “That’d be lovely.”
“Brilliant.” Risk suddenly got to his feet. “Get to bed. I’ll pick you up from work tomorrow . . . and Frankie?”
“Yeah?”
“Happy birthday.”
I blinked. “My birthday was last month . . . so was yours.”
“I know but since I missed it, I wanted to say it.”
My lips twitched. “Risk?”
“Yeah.”
“Happy birthday.”
His smile nearly knocked me off my feet.
I expected him to just leave, but he didn’t, he hugged me before he went and he kissed the crown of my head, just like he used to do. It lasted five seconds, maybe less, but the security and comfort I found in his embrace nearly stole my breath. I locked the front door when he was gone, then I wandered aimlessly into my bedroom. I sat on the bottom of my bed and felt my body shake as Oath brushed against my legs. I pinched myself and hissed. The pain was a vivid reminder that this was real, Risk had really been in my home and we somehow agreed to move forward and be friends.