The noise. Christ. The volume was deafening, but when the side door to the hall opened, I had to put my hands over my ears because the sheer volume actually hurt. I didn’t get to see a thing because everyone jumped to their feet while I remained seated. I seemed to be the only person who wasn’t overjoyed to see Blood Oath, but they didn’t have history with the lead singer and guitarist like I did. I remained seated, and for a solid two minutes, all that took place was screaming, cheering and clapping.
My bum was glued to my seat the entire time.
When the crowd finally retook their seats, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience and that was because I saw him for the first time since I made him walk away from me nine years ago. The sight of him took my breath away and as an asthmatic, that was dangerous. I took deep breaths, but never took my eyes off him. Risk had changed, and he hadn’t at the same time. His hair was still the same white-blond it always had been, but the style was different. He was rocking that typical Viking look. His hair was shaved on the sides and braided on the top of his head right back down his neck.
He was still gloriously tall but he wasn’t skinny anymore. He had put on weight, but from what I could see, it only seemed to be muscle. His shoulders had always been broad, but now they were muscular and looked very strong, so did his biceps . . . he had actual biceps. Even his bloody thighs looked bigger. I swallowed as I continued my visual assessment of him. It wasn’t hard to see why women, and a lot of men, lusted after him. Not only did he have a voice that sounded like a wet dream, he looked like one too.
He was more gorgeous than ever, he looked so healthy. I had heard he had gone to rehab after an incident of some kind with drugs and it obviously had done him the world of good. He truly looked incredible.
Risk, May and Hayes gave Mr Jones a big hug while Angel, the only non-original member of the band, shook his hand and smiled at something Mr Jones had said. I looked to May and Hayes and noted there were changes in their appearances too. May’s transformation was incredible, even down to his blood-red hair. He was no longer overweight; his body looked just as fit as Risk’s did. Hayes wasn’t as muscular as the other two, but lord, he was a handsome man. A handsome man who had married his girlfriend of two years in a shotgun wedding last year so Anna had told me.
The three guys I once knew so well might as well have been strangers to me. The realisation of this smacked into me with the full force of a train. Yes, I had incredible difficulty getting over Risk, I was still struggling with it but seeing them made it clear to me just how stuck in the past I was. It’d been nine years since we were in each other’s lives. Nine. They were famous rock stars now while I still worked in the same old diner and still lived in the same one-bedroom cottage near the pier. My best memories were in the past with Risk and the others, while they made new ones every day . . . this made something inside me shatter.
I couldn’t do this. I thought I could, but I couldn’t.
I stood up and quietly made my way across the row so I could leave. I apologised to every single person I had to step over and just as I reached the edge of the row, a kid who had walked from the front of the hall to speak to who I assumed was their parent at the back, stopped walking when she saw me. Everyone had quietened down as Mr Jones moved back to the microphone stand. The girl’s eyes locked on my face and almost instantly they widened.
“Hey!” she gasped dramatically. “Aren’t you the girl in the video who was kissing Risk?”
She may as well have used a megaphone because her voice carried throughout the whole hall. Everyone looked in my direction. I could have died there and then from embarrassment. I looked from the kid to the stage and my legs threatened to give out. Standing there, staring right at me, was Risk Keller. I nearly choked on air. Instead of smiling, nodding, or doing something, I turned and all but ran out of the hall.
I made it out to the car park. After I hurriedly got into my car, I grabbed my inhaler from my bag and took a few puffs. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode. He saw me. Risk looked right bloody at me. I was wrong. I thought I was grown up enough to take whatever happened in that hall on the chin, but I was a chicken shit. There was no way around it, I was a complete and utter chicken shit. The man probably thought I was some crazy ex-girlfriend who came by the ceremony just to see him.