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“Probably,” she says. “But sometimes it takes a lot of personal growth to open up, and it sounds like you were pretty brave with him.”

I like the fact that Tabitha is honest with me.

She doesn’t sugarcoat anything.

She doesn’t tell me that everything would have been the same no matter what. If I had talked to Aaron years ago, I could have mended our relationship. I could have spent the last few years with a friend instead of feeling like I was lost and alone and drowning.

Now I have him, though.

Sort of.

“Something’s still holding you back,” she says.

“I think he wants to be in a relationship with me.”

“Is that something you also want?” She dips her carrot in a little ranch cup and takes a bite. It crunches loudly, and the sound seems to echo because it’s so strangely silent in the break room.

Is it?

It is something I want?

Kind of.

Maybe.

Absolutely.

But I’m not under the impression that the Daddy Dom thing is going to be exclusive of sex, and, well, I’ve never done that.

“I have a problem,” I tell her. “With sex.”

“Like you have an STD?” She asks.

“No...like...”

Should I tell her?

I should tell her.

If there’s one thing I realized over the weekend, it was that keeping secrets and holding back doesn’t usually work out for the best. I should definitely tell her. Who knows? Maybe she’ll have an idea for how I can deal with my problem.

“What?” Tabitha asks.

“I’ve never...I’ve never done it.”

“What, with a man?”

“No, I mean...no. I’ve never had sex. Ever. With anyone.”

Tabitha looks surprised for a second, but then the realization of what I just said seems to hit her, and her jaw drops.

“What do you mean, you haven’t?”

“It just never happened.”

“Bullshit,” she said. “Not getting a pair of shoes you want is something that maybe never happened, but this...are you telling me that you saved yourself for him?”

“Not exactly.”


Tags: Kitty Jones Erotic