“We need to talk,” he says, and that’s what I was worried about. We haven’t talked since the night we kissed: since the night of my very first kiss ever. Even after everything that followed that night, even after my brother’s death, I still didn’t talk to Aaron.
I never could.
“No,” I shake my head sadly. “We don’t.”
And to be honest, I’m a little upset that he came here just to try to talk to me about Matthew. That’s why I’m here, after all. Isn’t it?
To forget?
To move on?
Being here is the only way I can forget about everything that happened. It’s the only way I can pretend that somehow I’m going to be fine. If I’m not here, and I’m alone for too long, the thoughts start coming back: the ones that whisper everything was my fault.
The ones that tell me I’m the reason that Matthew is six feet under.
“Mallory,” he says quietly, and his voice holds so many things. It sounds like he’s asking a question and making a promise at the same time.
“You don’t owe me anything,” I tell him. “What happened between us was a long time ago.”
He stiffens, and then pauses.
“What?”
“You heard me. It’s over. I’m not...I mean, I’m not waiting around for you.”
“Wait...is that why you haven’t spoken to me in years?” He asks, and his voice holds just the slightest edge that wasn’t there before. “You haven’t spoken to me in ten years because of the night we kissed?”
“It’s not like I’ve been actively avoiding you,” I point out. “I mean, you moved away, and I went to college. We weren’t exactly hanging out at the 7-11 every weekend together.”
I’m getting mouthy, and I’m raising my voice. The sounds of our discussion have caught the attention of a couple of Dominants in the room. I’m very aware of how this looks, and I need to excuse myself before I make a scene.
But Aaron doesn’t look upset.
He looks...hurt.
Wait, did he not know?
Did he not realize that his rejection was completely humiliating? Of course, I didn’t want to talk to him after Matthew died. Of course, I didn’t want to talk to him about any of it. That’s why I didn’t go to their alma mater. It’s why I chose an out-of-state school that offered me a scholarship. I returned to town after graduation and I’ve never been happier than spending time teaching, but...
There are memories of Matthew here everywhere, and sometimes, it’s really, really hard to deal with.
Aaron was long gone when I returned to town. He left after he graduated from college and as far as I knew, he never looked back. Why he’s here now, I have no idea, but I’m certain he’s going to tell me.
“I can see that we’re attracting attention,” he finally says, his voice tight. “Seeing as I don’t have a way to contact you, will you please meet me for lunch tomorrow so we can continue this discussion?”
“Um...”
I want to say no.
I want to tell him to fuck off and get lost, but there are people everywhere, and he’s right, quite a few of them are watching our little altercation. I turn back around to see my group of friends still carefully watching me. There’s no doubt in my mind that they’re all totally rooting for me.
Okay, I can do this.
I turn back to Aaron and nod.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I’m not working tomorrow. Anytime is okay.”
It’s a Saturday tomorrow. It’s a day I happened to make zero plans on because I need to catch up on grading and come up with projects for my class to do next week. We’re going to be learning about the solar system and I need some creative ways to help my kids remember the names of the planets.