“I would never cheat on my husband.”
“Even so, our subconscious can sabotage even the best of things because of what it believes is necessary. And for your subconscious, it may think that a new relationship, a new marriage is in order. Therefore, you want a divorce, but you also need a reason for that divorce. You look for signs that your husband is cheating on you, one of the only reasonable grounds for divorce you can think of.”
Lana sat up and swung her legs over the side of the couch. Her fingers gripped the edge as she stared at the plush, beige carpet. So neutral. So boring. Like her life could be sometimes, even for all its adventure. “So what do I do?”
“Well, first of all, you need to talk to your husband and tell him your fears and concerns.”
Lana shook her head. “I couldn’t tell him that I thought he was cheating on me…”
“You don’t have to. Simply tell him that you’re concerned about feeling uninspired and in need of something different. Whatever that means for you two. It may be necessary to brainstorm ideas on how you can eventually feel better and more confident in your marriage.” The therapist paused, glancing at his ceiling in thought. “Your second honeymoon is coming up?”
“Yes. After our anniversary.”
“That’s an excellent opportunity to explore new facets of your relationship. It’s also a chance to have these talks, since ten years marks a change in your relationship, no matter what.”
She didn’t want to cry. She definitely didn’t want to cry in front of her therapist, whose office was decked out for Christmas and sporting pictures of his happy family. Did this man have the same concerns for his life that she did for hers? Was he the type of man to build up signs that weren’t there, so he would have the excuse of ending a perfectly good marriage? I don’t want to lose Ken… And yet her instincts…
Lana grabbed a tissue and dabbed the corner of her eye. “I can’t ignore my instincts. They’ve never failed me before.”
“Then you really need to talk with him. If necessary, we can schedule a session with him.”
Boy, that would be a trip and a half. Lana couldn’t even imagine what that kind of conversation would be like.
She did leave the office that day with a new resolution, however. Don’t fall for your own mind games, Lana. First, she treated herself to that spa day since she happened to be downtown. Lana was pampered by the best masseuse in the region and had her toenails painted a bright, cheery pink that would delight her every time she looked at them. She wasn’t thrilled about having half her hair ripped out of her body, but she ignored the pain by talking to the esthetician about the latest gossip around town.
Lana considered these temporary improvements to her skin, nails, and muscles as a new lease on her attitude. From now on, I’ll calm down. She strolled down the chilly city streets sipping a latte and trying to enjoy the moment for what it was.
Her husband loved her.
She loved her husband.
They had everything they could ever want, including each other.
Lots of people may not care much for them, for whatever reason, but those same people were jealous of how strong they were as a couple.
Lana could not let anything come between her and Ken, including her irrational insecurities conjured by her pesky subconscious. Her therapist was right. She was manufacturing these ideas for the sake of drama. No wonder some people found her insufferable.
She detoured to the downtown office where Ken was working that day. In true real estate mogul fashion, the Andrews owned their own renovated building that they used for their business and to sublet to others. Yet the top few floors were all theirs, and within those currently empty halls was her husband’s downtown abode where he spent way too many hours a week dealing with grumpy investors, running numbers, and responding to concerns posted by current tenants and those looking to buy and sell other properties. All in a day’s work for those two.
“Yes, thank you.” Ken’s voice echoed through the inner chambers of the private office the moment Lana entered. She quietly closed the door and tiptoed toward the sound of her husband’s voice, intending to surprise him. “I love how willing you are, Chloe.”