Sleeping with one person might have been enough on its own, but she’d slept with several, and she hadn’t been very careful or safe or sane about it. Consensual? Yeah, it had all been consensual, and it had been fun, but it hadn’t sated her desires. It hadn’t given her what she really needed.
And now she was here.
She was at the doctor’s office and soon she was going to go inside and face the consequences of what she’d done. She was going to be brave and bold and she was going to be fierce. Slay. That’s what she was going to do: fucking slay.
She’d hesitated long enough, though, and finally, Melanie decided to get out of the car. She slammed the door shut harder than she should have. For a second, she thought about apologizing to her little Saturn, but she thought twice. She was already being punished by coming to this appointment. She didn’t need to traumatize herself further by saying she was sorry to a hunk of metal.
She went into the doctor’s office and walked up to the receptionist’s desk. Melanie tried to breathe normally. She could do this. She could be normal. Only, part of her thought that she couldn’t. She had never really fit in and she certainly didn’t fit in now. Not here in the doctor’s office.
The clinic was full, which was probably to be expected for a Monday afternoon. People were here with their kids and their grandmothers. Everyone needed to get a checkup today, apparently, but she was the only one here for the kind of check that she needed, and that made Melanie feel embarrassed.
“Can I help you?” The receptionist asked. She had dark black hair and it was pinned up in a neat bun. It was a little intimidating, but Melanie tried to remind herself that the woman wasn’t here to judge her. The lady wasn’t interested in that. She was just doing her job.
“Hi,” Melanie said. “I have an appointment with Dr. Grey.”
“What time is your appointment?”
“Two-thirty.”
“Name?”
“Melanie Blake.”
“Okay, Melanie. Is your insurance information the same?”
“Yes.”
“Have a seat,” the receptionist motioned to the office. “And we’ll call you back as soon as we can.”
“Thanks,” Melanie said, remembering her manners. She headed over to one of the chairs and sat down next to a lady who was bouncing a little baby on her knee. The kid had a carefree life, Melanie thought. Seriously. That kid didn’t have a thing in the world to worry about, did he? He could do anything, be anyone. He could do whatever. All he had to worry about was his mom, and she would take care of him.
Sometimes Melanie wished her life could be more like that.
It wasn’t, though.
Instead, her life was a series of bad choices that had severe consequences. Namely, they wasted her time. She shouldn’t have partied last week. She shouldn’t have done anything she’d done because now, not only was she sitting at the doctor’s office, but she was also without a job. Who knew how long she’d be unemployed? Finding a new job wasn’t always easy. It could be weeks or even a month before she had a new place to work.
Shit.
She might have to move back in with her mother.
Just then, she heard her name.
“Melanie,” a friendly nurse called from the doorway. Melanie tried not to pay attention to the people staring as she made her way over. She had essentially skipped the line, but she wasn’t sure why. Once they were in the back hallway, she looked at the nurse.
“Shouldn’t those other people be first?” She asked.
The nurse shook her head. “They’re seeing Dr. Shelly today. Besides,” the nurse said, tapping the chart. “Dr. Grey thinks you need to be seen urgently.”
“Urgently?” Melanie gulped. “Why urgently?”
The nurse gave her a strange look, but shook her head.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s get you into the exam room.”
Once they were in the room, the nurse weighed Melanie, took her blood pressure, and asked her a few questions about current medications. Then she asked the question that Melanie had been dreading.
“Okay,” she said. “Tell me, what brings you in here today?”