Only, my prince hasn’t found me, unless he’s given up looking. Perhaps he’s moved on and found another woman to marry, to have children with. Or maybe my father has killed him for touching me.
A shiver trails over me. From the back of my neck, slowly down to the base of my spine, just above my tailbone. I know Father Eugene has just walked into the church. His presence sending awareness over me. Bowing my head, I close my eyes and pray. Even though I don’t believe in what I’m doing, I’m forced to let my mind plead with something I cannot see.
Our Lady of Sorrows has been my home for two long years. My father decided it was best for me. He said I’d learn how to be a woman, learn how to look after what I should hold dear. What he means is, he didn’t want Lance to steal my virginity.
Lance Vincent Knight, the only man I will ever want. Yes, I’m young, perhaps too young to understand the intricacies of love, but my heart was stolen. Just like I know Lance steals lives for my father, he stole my heart too.
I recall the moment my dad walked into the room. The tension was so thick it could’ve been a wall between us. That’s one thing about Arthur Calthorpe — he is never in the wrong. Everyone else though, even his own daughter, gets punished.
My hands clasped in my lap, the rosary laced through my fingers, but I don’t recite it. The prayer sits on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t think of the words, let alone say them out loud.
My knees ache from being on the floor for so long, but I don’t move. Father Eugene is behind me now; the heat of his looming form Is more stifling than the weather outside. Before I have time to rise and walk out, he places a hand on my shoulder, and I bite back the urge to shudder at his touch.
There’s a strange feeling I get whenever he’s around. Eugene is one of my father’s friends, and even though he’s much younger than my dad, he’s known our family for most of my life.
In his early forties, he’s not much older than Lance, but for some reason, my father approves of me being around this asshole and not the man who works for him. Perhaps it’s the collar, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, the uniform doesn’t make the man.
I have to make a decision — become a fully-fledged nun or be sent back home. That’s why Eugene is here, to see if I’ve made up my mind. I know he would approve of me marrying the church and so would Arthur.
“Giuliana,” he calls my name in a gentle, husky tone. His hand falls away, allowing me to turn to him. “I was looking for you all over the grounds.” He knows I like to go out walking sometimes. I disappear, thinking about what my future ho
lds. I think about Lance, about the man I lost because my father enjoys toying with everyone’s lives.
Is it wrong to curse while in church?
Perhaps.
“Father Eugene.” I offer a meek nod and a shy smile. The piousness he exudes is all for show. Under the black cloak he wears, he hides the filth that makes him the vile monster before me. He’s never touched me, thankfully. But I know he has a sinister deviance beneath the saintly cloth.
A man of God with the soul of a Devil.
“I was finishing up my prayers for the day,” I inform him.
He nods. Reaching for me with his hand extended my way, it takes all my strength not to flinch from his fingertips brushing along my cheek. The corner of his mouth tilts into a grin. A dark, devious smirk that has unease settling in my gut.
“I’d like you to join me on a walk in the gardens,” he states. It’s not a question, not even an invitation. It’s an order. “Since it’s almost time for you to decide what you’d like to do, I want you to speak with me about where your mindset is. Also, I’ve spoken with Arthur, and he’s agreed to let me give you the options that lie before you.”
Lowering my head, I offer a slight nod and turn to walk down the aisle with him. The doors of the church are wide, allowing sunshine to stream through, lighting up the entrance of the building, which is normally dark.
His fingertips settle on my lower back, causing venom to trickle through my veins. His touch is foreboding, and I wonder why he’s come for me today. Normally, Mondays he’s away or with one of the other nuns.
“Nikita,” he utters the name of one of the newer girls. She’s pretty. With dark hair and green eyes, she looks like a porcelain doll. She smiles at him, perhaps unknowing of how vile this man truly is. “I’m so glad to see you outside, enjoying the sunshine. We will talk in my office later about your time here at Our Lady of Sorrows,” he offers with a smirk, and I wonder just what that means. I don’t trust this man. Since the moment I laid my eyes on him, I knew there was something wrong about him.
“Thank you, Father.”
“On second thought, come along with us. Giuliana and I were just going for a walk.” He sounds pleased with himself when he invites her, and I notice the glint in his eye when she obeys easily.
He’s never done anything to warrant my unease, but deep down, my gut tells me to be careful. To steer clear of him. So far, I’ve been lucky enough to move around without him watching me too closely, but then again, perhaps that’s what he’d like me to think.
My brows furrow in confusion at how she flushes in shyness. Her cheeks are rosy when he plants a kiss on the top of her head, and bile rises up my throat at the sight. Glancing away, I focus on the lush green grass before us.
We stroll through the beautifully manicured gardens when he stops at the river that races by the side of the church and convent. It’s mesmerizing, watching how the rocks shimmer and shine with the sunlight hitting the water just right.
Sadly, it only reminds me of a time when I was happy.
My heart aches, reminding me that I didn’t get a chance to confess my feelings before I was snatched away. Perhaps Lance thinks I don’t love him, and maybe that’s why he hasn’t tried to find me.
“It’s been two years since you arrived here, Giuliana,” Father Eugene begins. “I trust you’ve enjoyed your time at the convent.” His gaze meets mine pointedly as if he’s challenging me to respond negatively.