It’s not that I’m lazy. I’m not. I work hard and I’m always on time. I do a great job with my kids, but everyone needs a break. The weekends are my break. Saturday and Sunday are the days when I have time to read or relax or just do nothing.
I don’t want to come in on Saturday, and obviously, asking nicely hasn’t stopped Carmen from scheduling me.
I think of last weekend and how I felt with Jaxson Thorn.
Master Thorn.
When he was touching me, I felt like everything was going to be okay. I felt safe. I felt wild, but secure. It was like I had a place where I could let my inhibitions go and know that no matter what happened, he wasn’t about to let me fall.
I want that feeling again.
When I was with Master Thorn, I liked myself. I liked that girl. I liked the brave girl. I liked feeling fierce and incredible, and I want that feeling again. I want to chase it and catch it, and I know there’s no better time than now.
Carmen is already turning to leave the room, obviously sure I’m not going to argue with her, so she’s surprised when I stand up.
“Sorry, Carmen,” I shake my head. “I’m not available Saturday.”
“But you need to come in,” she looks surprised. “Destiny won’t be here.”
“I’m sorry, but I’ve already told you that I’m no longer free to work Saturdays. You’ll have to find someone else.”
She narrows her eyes. “Have you forgotten that your evaluation is coming up? I’d hate to have to give you a negative review.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“I’m just reminding you.”
“Well, Carmen, let me remind you of something,” I throw my trash away and wash my hands in the sink, staring at her the entire time. “I am not available to work Saturdays and that has nothing to do with my work as a teacher here. If you write a false evaluation based on the fact that you notified me at the last minute you wanted me to work overtime and I refused, I’ll be happy to bring it up with the facility director.”
Carmen might be harsh, but she’s not about to go head-to-head with Destiny. Destiny rules the daycare with an iron fist and she doesn’t put up with crap from anyone.
Carmen glares at me, makes a weird noise, and then stomps out of the room.
I’m filled with a sense of accomplishment
and satisfaction, and I wonder why I didn’t stand up for myself earlier. I should have. It feels good to say what I want and what I mean. It feels calming to know that I defended myself.
I spoke up for myself.
I should have done this a long time ago, but I never felt confident enough. This entire week, though, I’ve felt different. I’ve felt sexy. I’ve felt sultry. I’ve felt like a woman who knows what she wants instead of an awkward girl who is floundering, and I know exactly who I have to thank for that.
I take a deep breath and pull out my phone.
I type a text and hit “send” before I can back out, and then I head back to my class.
It’s time to teach some kids how to read.
Chapter 8
Thorn
I can’t stop thinking about you.
The sentence burns itself into my brain.
So the little vixen has decided to be brave.
The question is, how brave?