I’m happy she’s been able to move forward.
I just hope I’m able to do the same.
Eventually, I stop moping around, take my shower, and wash my hair. I shave my legs and wash my face and then I get out, blow-dry my hair, and get dressed. I don’t bother putting makeup on, but I probably should. It’s a good habit to get into, but right now, I just feel so tired and lonely that getting dressed takes an unbearable amount of effort on its own.
I shouldn’t be so depressed.
I shouldn’t be so sad.
I shouldn’t be so lonely after all this time.
Somehow, I manage to get into my car and drive to Susan’s. She only lives a few minutes away, which is another reason swapping babysitting with her works so well. It’s never too far.
When I knock on the door, I hear scurrying inside.
“I’ll get it!”
“No, I’ll get it!”
“It’s my turn! You got it last time!”
“I want to get it!”
“Girls,” I hear Susan’s voice calmly echoing through the house. “Neither one of you gets to answer the door. Wait for me.”
“But it’s my mom!” I hear Bennett’s voice loud and clear.
“It doesn’t matter who it is,” Susan says. “What’s the number one rule of staying safe at Miss Susan’s house?”
“Don’t answer the door without a grown-up,” both Bennett and Amelia say.
“That’s right.”
I hear the sound of the deadbolt and then Susan opens the door looking strangely perky for someone who just hosted a sleepover.
“Hey beautiful,” she says. “Come on in. I have coffee.”
“Thanks,” I step inside and Bennett immediately throws herself into my arms.
“Mommy! I missed you!”
“I missed you, too, princess,” I hug her and kiss her. “Did you have fun with Amelia last night?”
“Yes,” Bennett smiles.
“We watched a movie,” Amelia says.
“And ate cookies!” Bennett adds.
“Shhh,” Amelia shushes her. “That was a secret.”
I look at Susan, but she just laughs and motions for me to follow her into the kitchen.
“Don’t worry. I didn’t overdose them on sugar last night, but they did feel like baking, so we made chocolate chip cookies.” She points to a plastic bag on the kitchen counter. “We saved you plenty.”
“Girl, how am I going to eat all of these?” I look from the cookies to my tummy and back again. “There’s literally no way.”
“Just freeze them,” Susan shrugs. “They’ll last you months.”