Nash follows me, his own nudity making mine pale in comparison. Seriously, how much time does that guy spend at the gym? Are all shifters that cut? He’s taller than I expected, and lean. He’s fit, but not too muscular. He looks like he runs and lifts a little. He looks like he’d be fun to fuck.
Oh, dammit!
Why is my mind going there?
As if my day wasn’t hard enough without a heaping dose of by-the-way-your-pet-is-really-a-super-hot-shifter.
As if I needed something else to worry about.
“Go away,” I say over my shoulder, but I don’t look back. “I’m going for a walk. I need some fresh air.”
“You can’t really expect me to let you go into the woods on your own. There could be more men out there.”
“I don’t expect you to ‘let’ me do anything. You aren’t my dad or my boyfriend. You sure as hell aren’t my lover. So wherever you got the idea that you get to tell me what to do, you can go right ahead and shove it up your ass.”
I’m being a little harsh. Well, honestly, I’m being more than a little harsh, but I just don’t have the patience for him right now. I don’t know if I ever did.
When we kissed, I felt alive. I felt free. When his lips melted against mine, I felt safer than I ever have before, so why the rejection?
Having him turn me down hurts worse than being attacked did because it’s stabbing me to my core. My heart hurts. I really let myself like him. Why did I do that? There’s a reason I’m so guarded all the time. When you’re guarded, you don’t let anyone in, and you don’t get hurt.
I’ve had enough loss in my life to last me five lifetimes. My parents died. My brother is a murderous psycho. My grandmother was killed in front of me. I’ve probably been replaced at work. I have no friends.
And my pet wolf is actually a super hot guy who doesn’t want to fuck me.
And oh, I really, really, really want him to want to fuck me.
I walk down the path and around the bend into the woods. I shouldn’t be out here. Not after this morning. Not after everything.
Somehow, it seems right, though.
I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of the wilderness. Pine trees, oaks, and maples fill this forest and I don’t intend to waste anymore time feeling sorry for myself about ol’ Nash.
I know he’s following me, but I ignore him as I walk along the trail. I don’t say anything because I don’t have anything to say. I’m tired. I’m worn out. I wanted to feel close to him, so I basically threw myself at him.
Only, he didn’t want me.
And it just reminds me that no one ever has.
I’ve never had a serious boyfriend or a serious friend or a serious anything. The only person who was always there for me was my grandmother, and she’s long gone now. I try not to think about the fact that Jeffrey might have held a funeral for her. I try not to think about him organizing a search party to find me. Has he told the human world that I’ve been kidnapped?
Has he told people I may have died?
What lies has he spewed in the name of honor?
I step on a rock and my foot starts to blee
d, but I ignore it and keep moving. I just need…something. I don’t even know what. I just need to sit and think and breathe for a little bit and then everything will be okay.
Finally, I find a large boulder and I scurry up. I sit and pull my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them tightly. The stone is cool against my bottom as I sit there, overlooking a clearing in the forest.
Nash is nearby. I can sense him.
I don’t want to talk to him.
The tears begin to fall sooner than I’d like and I hate the fact that he knows I’m crying over him. I never wanted to cry over him. I only wanted someone – anyone – to think I was worth it. I know he risked his life for me.
He didn’t have to.