I climb in and yank the covers up to my neck.
For the first time since I got to the cabin, I don’t need to play with myself to fall asleep. Something about having Wolfy around makes me feel safe.
Something about this makes me feel like no matter what happens, I’m going to be okay.
6.
Nash
I’ve never felt at home like this before.
Red doesn’t owe me anything, but she makes me feel important. She makes me feel like I matter. She makes me feel like she’s happy just having me around.
Part of me thinks that life in the pack must have really screwed me up if I’m so happy just playing pet to a human girl. Then again, life in the pa
ck was always dramatic once Jeffrey came along.
The former Alpha, the one we had growing up, always kept the wolves in line. We didn’t have huge numbers or anything like that, but we were a community. We were a family. Even after my parents died, I was part of the pack and there was nothing more to it. No one would have thought about kicking me out, making me leave, making me fend for myself just because I didn’t have a mom and dad.
Instead, a single female wolf, Germaine, took in me and Elise. We ran with the rest of the cubs and she raised us as her own. She was a good mother to us: better than anyone I ever could have hoped for. She had been best friends with both my mother and Elise’s, and she mourned their deaths as we did.
Germaine might not have had cubs of her own, but she did everything in her power to give me and Elise a good upbringing. She wanted the world for us. She wanted to give us everything she could. She wanted to make us strong and brave.
I wonder what she’s doing now.
When Elise died, I fled the pack because there was no way the Alpha wouldn’t kill me. He saw me that night, saw me with the blood. For all I know, he framed me for her murder and the whole pack is hunting me. I just don’t know.
But I hope Germaine is okay.
I hope he didn’t do anything to hurt her. She’s a tough wolf, but she’s getting older. Part of me worries that Jeffrey might harm her in order to hurt me, but I know Ryder wouldn’t let that happen.
Before I left, I said goodbye to him and Thorn. They promised to give me updates when they could. We swore to come up with a way to take down the Alpha. Adrenaline and hope were running high when I left, though, and now?
Now I’m lucky to make it through each day. I haven’t heard from Thorn in weeks. Maybe something happened to him. Maybe he’s just been busy. I don’t know.
But with Red by my side, I know I can make it just a little bit longer. With her, I feel braver, stronger. I feel better. Red makes me feel like I can conquer the world if she’ll just smile at me a little more. That sweet, innocent smile is edged with fire and lust. I’ll do just about anything if it means she’ll look at me a little bit more.
After the rainstorm, I started sleeping inside. I still haven’t told her I’m a shifter. I don’t know how at this point. When I started playing pet, I didn’t expect it to go on this long. I didn’t honestly think she would want to keep me around or that she’d have any interest in making me part of her home.
That’s what the cabin has become to me: home.
It’s become a symbol of hope in a time when I felt like quitting. It’s become a refuge, a beacon. Red is the sun in my sky and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Even after such a short amount of time together, I know I can’t go back to the way life was before her.
I have to take down the Alpha.
I have to save her from her brother.
I have to find a way to unite our futures and our lives because I can’t live without her.
***
It feels like the rain has lasted for months, even though it’s only been a few days. Red found some paper and pens and has been sprawled across the bed drawing. Every so often, she’ll sit up and ask me what I think of something and I peek up from my spot in the middle of the floor to see what she made.
She’s a damn good artist, if I do say so myself.
The first picture she draws is of her grandmother. The second is of Grandma sitting on the porch at the cabin. The third? The two of us at the waterfall.
That one is my favorite.