Ted doesn’t just know that Neil is back in town: he’s actively trying to find him.
And that can’t mean anything good.
Chapter Six
Neil
The problem with being a criminal is that you gain some skills, but you lose others. Surfing the Internet was fun in high school, but I don’t think I really developed the sleuthing abilities that most other convicts have when it comes to Internet prowess. After hours of staring at the computer, I’m not really any closer to finding out any information than I was when I was in prison. My Internet access there wasn’t non-existent, but it was severely limited. Now I’m “free,” but I’m still locked away in my heart. The demons from my past aren’t going anywhere, it seems, no matter how badly I want them to.
“What are we going to do, kitty cat?” I ask Echo. I find that I keep talking to him over and over again. I’ve never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but maybe I’m coming around.
After awhile, I get up and pace. Over and over, I walk around on Finley’s little carpet. Her house is cute and adorable: just like her. The wood floors are covered with mismatched area rugs and carpets, and she’s got books just everywhere.
I walk around and run my fingers over a couple of them. They’re clean: not dusty, and the spines are all so pretty. I don’t know how she started her book collection, but there’s a part of me that’s wildly jealous.
I want something like this in my life.
Okay, I really, really want something like this in my life.
I don’t deserve a girl like Finley, and the truth is that I only came here for one reason: revenge. I came back to Kurlin to find out who framed me and why, and to find out exactly what it is they did. Sammy shouldn’t have died. We all know that. Literally everyone knows that kid should have still been alive.
So why isn’t he?
It doesn’t make any sense.
These are questions I’ve wrestled with for years, but somehow, I kind of thought I’d instantly find answers when I came back. I wanted to, I guess. I wanted to come back into town and just have the answers handed to me on a silver platter. That’s not really what happened, though, and it’s frustrating.
Somehow, I manage to make the day pass. It’s a little bit awkward and rough. I feed Echo a few times. Finley didn’t tell me how much to feed him, so I kind of guess. How often does a kitten need to eat? Every hour? Every three hours? I don’t know. Echo kind of acts like he’s starving to death, though, so I just keep his food bowl topped off.
Then I clean.
One thing I learned in prison was how to clean really well, so I scrub the floors and do the dishes and wash the laundry. I vacuum and sweep and tidy up everything that I can. It’s nice enough that Finley is letting me stay here. I’m not going to be any sort of burden to her, too.
After I’m done cleaning, I take a shower and wash my clothes. I have one spare set of clothing – jeans and a tee – and I wear that while my other outfit is washing. Okay, so I need to get to a store soon and buy stuff.
It’s just that I don’t really want to be out wandering in Kurlin.
The problem with small towns is that people talk, and most of the time, it’s not about anything good. They never want to talk about anything you need to hear or you’re interested in hearing.
Instead, they gossip, and they spread stories, and they tell the kind of tales that good men die for.
A quick glance at the clock reveals that she’s going to be home soon, and I don’t want Finley to think I just sat around all day. It’s not that she’ll judge me – she won’t – but I don’t want her to feel like I’m taking advantage of her hospitality. She’s a good person, a kind person, and she deserves to have someone taking care of her.
There’s a part of me that wants to be that man.
I could love her, worship her, play with her.
I could play her body like a harp and then make her come harder than she ever has before.
Would she like that?
Making her come apart the other day was fantastic. It was so absolutely fucking perfect that it kind of hurts to think about. She’s wonderful, and lovely, and she’s so incredible that the idea of her being with anyone else just kills me.
I hate how much I’ve come to like her, to adore her.
The truth is that Finley and I don’t really know each other very well, but damn, I feel like I do. There’s a part of me that feels like nobody could possibly understand her as well as I do.
There’s a little piece of my heart that feels like Finley and I belong to each other, but that would be crazy.