“What are we, David?”
“Oh, friends with benefits at the very least,” I winked at her, and she seemed to relax. “But if I’m being honest with you, Zoey, and you deserve that, I care about you very deeply.”
I hadn’t planned to tell her that. I hadn’t planned to say that I liked her a lot or that I thought about her all of the time. I’d been ca
reful not to let her know just how much she meant to me, but maybe that had been wrong. All of our problems had stemmed from not communicating. It was ironic because most of the time, when I was sexual with someone, it was in a BDSM setting. That world revolved almost entirely around open communication. Somehow, though, with Zoey, I kept on holding back.
She did, too.
“I care about you, too.”
“The fact that you blew me off tells a different story,” I said gently.
“Does it tell you that I was scared?” Zoey asked, raising her voice a little. She was nervous. The high-pitched tone of her question told me that.
“Partly,” I said.
“I was scared,” she told me. “And I was wrong.”
I wondered what that meant for us. What did it mean for our future? Was there a chance that Zoey Lane and I could be something wonderful?
Or were the two of us too damaged for yet another chance?
10
Zoey
The rehearsal dinner was the most boring event I’d been to in years, maybe ever. While my brother definitely knew how to throw a roaring 30th birthday party, his ability to arrange a rehearsal dinner completely sucked. He and Lauren were both on edge. They weren’t doing anything fun after, either. There weren’t going to be bachelor and bachelorette parties because Lauren’s mom didn’t think those were appropriate. Besides, Lauren was pregnant and couldn’t drink.
Oh, she and Felix were being idiots about that. It was obvious to anyone with a brain that Lauren was knocked up. It was dumb that they tried to keep it a secret because nobody cared about that stuff anymore. You didn’t have to have a shotgun wedding, and even if you did, literally nobody blinked twice about it. The idea of getting married because you were having a kid was a little crazy to me, but judgement? That wasn’t something I had in me. Nobody did.
Everyone talked as they ate. Heath was on my right and David was on my left. Heath kept trying to engage me in small talk and ask me how I liked Kansas City. I kept trying to tell him that I’d gone to high school here and that it wasn’t exactly a new place for me, but he just didn’t understand. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with Felix when he was in college, so I hadn’t gotten to know Heath or any of his other college friends.
Heath was nice and he was friendly enough, but I wasn’t really interested in him, like, at all. So, when he asked me whether I was seeing anyone, I was struck with the age-old problem of having to decide whether to be totally blunt or to completely lie.
“That’s an interesting question,” I finally said. “What about you?” I reached for my wine glass. My brother and Lauren had both ordered water but nobody else had held back from drinking. I was going to need wine to get through the night, anyway. I might be a bridesmaid, but I was also a human being. I had no interest in dealing with these boring-ass conversations while sober.
“I was seeing someone, but we broke it off recently,” Heath told me.
“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. Breakups are always tough.”
I felt David’s hand squeeze my thigh. I tensed but didn’t look over at him. He was talking to Sally, Lauren’s married sister, who was on the other side of him. He didn’t let it show that he was touching me. In fact, there was no indication at all that his hand was on my thigh except for the fact that I could feel it sliding under my black lace skirt.
I didn’t mind one bit. If anything, the fact that he was touching me seemed to calm me down. Maybe that was just the wine talking, but I liked this about David. I liked the fact that he was kind of a bad boy. He wasn’t afraid to be naughty or wild. He didn’t do what people expected. That was hot.
“They really are,” Heath continued. I sipped my wine as he kept going on and on about his ex. I was tempted to tell him to just text her and get it over with, but I didn’t. Instead, I managed to stay polite and calm, and somehow, I managed to bullshit my way through the conversation.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, dinner ended. Lauren and Felix were ready to head back to their house. The wedding was in the early afternoon the next day, but the wedding party was supposed to meet earlier for pictures and that sort of thing. Lauren was feeling exhausted and ready for bed, and everyone else seemed to agree that it was a good choice to leave early.
Heath hitched a ride home with Felix. The local auto body shops were already closed for the night when we’d met up for the rehearsal, so he’d have to call someone the next day for help getting a new tire. As it was, Felix was happy to drive him around.
That left me with David.
The two of us stood outside of the restaurant once everyone had left. It was chilly out, and I rubbed my shoulders. I was reminded of our date together and how I’d felt cold that night, too. That night seemed like a million years ago even though it had only been a few months.
“Have you done a lot of dating since I saw you last?” David looked over at me and smiled. I leaned back against the side of the restaurant. I could feel the cold bricks against my shoulders. The sensation was rough, but not unpleasant.
“A little,” I shrugged.