Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that I was going to be hurting over this. It was safe to say that my idea of sleeping with David and having it be just a one-time thing was a bad choice. David was a good guy, and I didn’t want one night. I wanted more. I wanted him. I’d just been a total and utter fool about it. I’d lied to myself, and I’d lied to him, and now I was paying the price for that.
“I’ll take care of it.”
Felix went to the door, and he whispered something to David. I couldn’t hear what they said. It was a few simple words, but it was enough to make David leave. Then Felix came back over to me, placed a hand on my shoulder, and guided me to the chairs in front of his desk. He helped me into one, and then he went to his own side of the desk and sat down. Felix looked at me the way he’d looked at me when I was a little kid and I’d come home with a crappy report card. He watched me carefully, looking for lies. I knew what he was doing. He wanted to know what the deal was. Why had I freaked out over David Walker kissing a woman in the office? For all Felix knew, maybe that was David’s date for the night.
“What’s going on, little sister?” My brother’s words were gentle, and they were careful. He didn’t ask me what I’d done, and he didn’t ask me why I was upset. He just asked me what was going on, and it was enough for me to burst into tears. Shit. I so hadn’t planned on crying today. Not over David. Not in front of Felix. I sniffled, trying to get myself under control. I wasn’t going to make any loud crying noises. Not here.
“David and I had sex last night.” I blurted it out, and then covered my mouth with my hand. I was horrified, and I stared at my brothers, eyes wide, because I couldn’t believe I’d actually admitted it.
“I know,” he said. His eyes twinkled a little at my obvious confusion. “Movie night? Really? Come on, kid. I’m not 12.”
“Oh,” I whispered, sniffling. So apparently, I hadn’t been as sneaky as I wanted to be. The tears were still coming, but I hadn’t sobbed or made any loud noises or anything. I felt like I was doing a good job of keeping my crying under control. I couldn’t stop the tears, though. It was waterwork-city.
“What’s going on?” Felix asked gently. “Was it just a fling or is there something more? Usually, I wouldn’t think of you as the type of person to cry over a boy.” Again, his eyes were twinkling, but Felix was patient. That was the thing I liked most about my brother. He was always relentlessly patient.
“I don’t know,” I told him. “All I know is that I’m getting ready to fly back to California, and I don’t want to see him again before I do.”
I felt sick thinking about Debra. He’d told me they were broken up. Well, they definitely didn’t look broken up today. In fact, they looked very much together. Maybe David was coming over to my brother’s office to say that it was all a mistake or a misunderstanding, but I didn’t really want to hear that. I didn’t want to hear any of that.
To his credit, Felix didn’t tell me I needed to talk to David. He didn’t tell me there was obvious
ly a misunderstanding that could easily be sorted. He didn’t tell me that I needed to be a big girl or deal with the decision I’d made. Instead, he just nodded as though this was the simplest request in the world.
“All right,” he said. “I can make that happen.”
He got up, grabbed his jacket, and gestured for me to come with him. I scurried to move, hurrying to keep up with him. Felix put his arm around me as we walked. Then he led me out of his office, out of the lobby, and into the elevators. We rode in silence right down to the parking garage, got into his SUV, and drove away. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. My phone was buzzing like crazy, and I suspected that David was texting me, but I just did not want to deal with it.
“What did you say to him?” I finally asked. “To make him go away, I mean.” I kept my eyes closed. I couldn’t look at Felix. I couldn’t do it.
“I reminded him that we were at work and that he could talk to you when we weren’t at the office.”
“That makes sense,” I whispered. “I was wondering if you threatened him, movie-style.”
“Movie-style?”
“You know, how the big brother always says something like, ‘If you come near her again, I’ll break your nose.’”
“I don’t think I’d make a threat like that around a bunch of attorneys,” he laughed. Then he looked over at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I said. “If we never talk about David again, it will be too soon.”
“Understood,” he said. Then, a pause. “So, I guess this is probably a bad time to let you know that Lauren wants you as her maid of honor...and that he’ll be my best man.” I could feel the anxiety wafting off my brother. He felt bad about this arrangement, but it wasn’t his fault.
I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. Then I looked out of the window and sighed. It wasn’t about me, I reminded myself. It wasn’t about me and it wasn’t about David and it wasn’t some weird payback or punishment for what we’d done. This was Felix and Lauren’s special day, and I needed to do everything in my power to make sure they had the wedding of their dreams. If sucking it up and acting normal around David was what it took, then so be it. Besides, they’d probably have a long engagement. I’d have plenty of time to go fuck David out of my system.
“I’d be honored,” I said. “I can’t wait.”
9
David
Three Months Later
The rehearsal dinner was only three months after Felix’s birthday party. It seemed wildly rushed, but nobody talked about the obvious elephant in the room. Was Lauren pregnant? Was that the reason they were having such a whirlwind wedding? Nobody wanted to ask. I probably should have manned up and popped the question. After all, Felix and I were best friends, but there were a lot of things Felix and I weren’t talking about lately.
For one thing, why hadn’t Felix’s little sister spoken to me since that day in the office? Neither one of us had mentioned it. Neither one of us had brought it up, but that was because I knew why.
We both knew why.