s. A couple of people glanced up to eavesdrop on the conversation, but for the most part, I was being ignored. I was fine with that.
“I don’t have an appointment,” I said. “I’m actually Felix Lane’s sister. I just stopped by to surprise him. Do you know if he’s available?” I hoped that would be good enough. This wasn’t the type of business that required special clearance to visit. If Felix worked at a doctor’s office or a government building, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to stop by. Apparently, legal offices were fine as far as visitors were concerned.
“Oh, you must be Zoey,” the woman grinned. “I’ve heard so much about you. He likes you so much. He’s always bragging about you.” Well, that was shocking. My brother? Bragging? I wasn’t sure whether I should be more shocked that the receptionist knew who I was or that my brother had talked me up to people at work.
“Really?” I asked. I was a little surprised. Felix didn’t strike me as the “bragging” type. Not when it came to me, anyway. We’d gotten along well enough growing up. I would even describe our relationship as close. Bragging, though? I shook my head. I just could not wrap my head around that.
“Oh yes,” she nodded. “He’s very excited about the fact that you came for a visit. Have you ever thought about moving back?” The woman cocked her head, curious. “I bet he’d just love that.”
So, he hadn’t told anyone about my move. Interesting. I wasn’t sure whether the thought should be comforting or upsetting. My brother hadn’t told anyone I was coming to Kansas. Was it because he’d been busy? Because he didn’t think it was a big deal? Or maybe he didn’t think I’d actually go through with it.
There was a little voice at the back of my mind that told me my brother thought I was lame. I’d thought that for awhile. Maybe it was just because I always compared myself to Felix. Logically, I knew that, no, it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. He was a successful lawyer, though. He was engaged. He was probably going to have a baby in a year or two and I...
Well, I lived with three other girls and was a serial dater. I hadn’t settled down because I didn’t want to. I liked playing the field. I liked being with different people. There was something powerful about exploring that side of myself, and besides, I didn’t have anyone I wanted to settle down with. I hadn’t met a guy I wanted to tame me. There was nobody in my life I wanted to become monogamous for. Except, perhaps, maybe David.
There was that thought again. I was smart enough to know that it was dangerous, and it was wrong. We’d had a fling. That was it. I needed to get that memo to my heart and maybe to my vagina, because the truth was that it had been less than 12 hours since we’d parted ways, and I was already craving him again. If I closed my eyes, I could practically feel his hand son my body.
“I think that would be great,” I finally choked out the words. I tried to pay attention to the secretary. She had bright, frizzy red hair. She reminded me of Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus except that she was sexier and had a tighter dress. “So, is my brother in?” I didn’t need to chit-chat with her about my future plans. I was tempted to, but I didn’t.
“Oh, yes, sorry! I just got so excited to meet you,” she said. The woman gestured to the hallway behind her. “He’s just in his office. Third door on the right.”
“Thank you,” I nodded. “I appreciate that.”
“Anytime,” she said. “And if you do decide to take the leap and move back, I know your brother would be thrilled to have you.” The phone rang, so I was saved from having to answer. I was relieved. Not that she didn’t seem nice. She did. Still, I was relieved because I didn’t know what to say.
I headed down the hallway. There was an open area where a bunch of assistants were sitting. I knew these weren’t the attorneys because they were too young, and they didn’t look stressed out enough. I wasn’t sure whether they were secretaries or paralegals or if there was even a difference. A few of them looked up when I walked by, but nobody said anything. Somehow, I felt like I was getting away with something even though I knew I was allowed to be here.
There was this saying that you should just fake it until you make it. Everyone used to say that during my undergrad. If you didn’t know what to do, it didn’t matter. My friends in college always, always said, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” That advice worked a lot as an adult, too. If you didn’t know what to do, but you acted confidently, people wouldn’t question you. A lot of people used that as a way to sneak into places they weren’t supposed to be. I had never taken the mantra that far, but I tried to remember to act confident even when I didn’t feel like it.
The first two doors I passed were open, but I tried not to peer in as I walked by. I didn’t want to be weird or awkward. The last thing I needed was for people to think Felix Lane’s little sister was a total dork. I’d spent enough time in high school living in my brother’s shadow. I didn’t need a repeat performance at his place of business.
When I reached the third door, I paused for just a moment before I raised my hand and knocked. This was Felix’s office, all right. His name was on the door.
“Come in,” he called out. I pushed the door open, and there he was. Felix grinned and got up, hurrying over to wrap me in a hug. “Hey, little sister. I wasn’t expecting you.”
Relief washed over me. He wasn’t bothered or annoyed that I’d come to visit him. I knew I should have called first, but I’d gotten the idea of surprising him in my head. There was still a part of me that thought it might be nice to run into David again, too. I was going to leave in a few hours, after all. Maybe being able to say goodbye properly might be nice.
“I know,” I said, hugging him back. He felt safe. It felt safe to be here with Felix. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.” That, at least, was the truth. I’d been looking for apartments and I was really happy with the one I’d managed to find.
“I’m glad you did,” he said. “I was just finishing up some work for the day. Give me twenty minutes and I’ll drive you home to pick up Lauren.” Felix gestured to one of the seats in front of his desk, letting me know that I could sit down if I wanted to.
“Okay,” I agreed, but I didn’t sit down right away. He sat back down at his desk and I started wandering around his office. It was a pretty normal, run-of-the-mill sort of office. There was a picture of us when we were kids, which was kind of cute. He had some pictures of Lauren. I spotted a few more pictures of me. The two of us had had some incredible adventures together, and he had a lot of those on display for the entire world to see.
There were a couple of comfortable-looking chairs in front of the bid desk Felix was seated at. I supposed those were for clients who came in to talk with him. They obviously wouldn’t want to stand the entire time, especially if it was a long meeting. Having a comfortable seat probably made it easier to open up and talk, too.
In addition to the family photos and the client chairs, Felix also had a couple of bookshelves full of everything from law textbooks to novels. I picked up one and flipped it over. I recognized the title, but I hadn’t read it. There were a few other random books, too.
“I represented an author once,” he said, by way of explanation.
“Really?”
“A few times, actually. She always brings me a copy of her latest book before I help her out.”
“Does that make representing her a bit more fun?”
“Weirdly, it does,” he laughed. “I like clients who are a little bit quirky. They’re fun.”
I didn’t ask what the writer had done. Maybe it had been book research gone wrong. Felix wasn’t supposed to talk about his cases, anyway, so I tried to avoid asking him questions about what it was that he did. I didn’t want him to be in a position where he had to lie or tell me to fuck off. Satisfied by his story, I finished peering at the novels, and I resumed my stroll across the office.