For not answering a question?
But I know I deserve it, and I know there’s no way to argue myself out of this one. I don’t have any way to convince anyone – including myself – that I don’t deserve this. Instead of trying to convince the world that I’m being treated unfairly, I just sink lower into my chair and stare at the board, trying my hardest to actually pay attention.
Another student shoots me a look of sympathy, but quickly turns back around before Mr. Hedgeworth notices. He’s not exactly a kind of caring teacher, but he’s never been unfair before. Apparently, I pissed him off more than I thought I did. Then again, if I’m honest, today isn’t the first time I’ve been distracted lately.
Class finally ends and as I’m trailing out of the class, he calls to me.
“Adalee, can I see you?”
“Good luck,” Jared, one of the guys in my class, whispers to me as he heads out of the room.
“Of course,” I manage to say. The truth is that I have to swallow my fear and most of my pride and force myself to turn around and go back over to the teacher. I definitely don’t want to be talking to him right now – about anything.
I don’t want to talk to anyone.
All of my energy is being directed toward Christmas break, and I’m not pleased with that or with myself. I have a lot of things I need to worry about, and getting in trouble shouldn’t be one of them.
The rest of the class empties out, and as soon as we’re alone, Mr. Hedgeworth crosses his arms over his chest and looks at me.
“What’s going on, Adalee?”
I gulp.
“What do you mean?” I whisper. My voice comes out quiet and faint. It comes out so weak that it almost sounds ghostly.
Mr. Hedgeworth looks at me for a long time, and then he finally speaks.
“Adalee, I’ve been your teacher for a long time.”
It’s true.
Mr. Hedgeworth has had me in his classes for four years. That’s four years to watch me fade away. Four years to watch how horribly I’ve dealt with the stress and anxiety that comes from being indebted to Frank O’Conner. He’s seen me fail and he’s seen me stumble. Mr. Hedgeworth has seen a lot of things.
He’s not exactly a young man. He’s no spring chicken when it comes to dealing with students. Yeah, I probably should have figured that he’d know something was up. When has this guy ever let anyone off the hook?
For anything?
“Okay,” I whisper.
“And during that time, I’ve seen you blossom from a shy girl who is scared to talk to anyone into a strong, responsible woman. What I’ve seen from you the last two weeks, however, has been you reverting back to that fre
shman girl I met four years ago.”
Harsh, much?
Okay.
I still don’t say anything. Instead, I wait quietly and hope he hurries up and gets to his point.
“I don’t know what you’re going through, Adalee, but I’d love to help you. Any of your teachers would. We’re all here for you. If there’s something that you need to talk about, or if there’s something happening in your personal life that you need help with, I’d love to offer you advice and support. I really don’t want to give you detention just for having a hard time. That’s not really what detention is for, Adalee. So if you can talk to me, or if you can promise that you’ll talk to someone, I’d be more than happy to cancel your detention for this afternoon.”
He looks at me hopefully, and I know what he wants.
He wants me to pour my royal heart out and tell him exactly what’s wrong.
I can’t, though.
I can’t tell anyone.