I don’t want to think about how much time we wasted with our not-knowing.
How much time did we miss out on because neither one of us was willing to say what we really wanted?
How we really felt?
Probably too much time.
Too long.
“We’re together now,” I whisper. “That’s all that matters.”
“Of course.”
He kisses me again, and this time, I close my eyes. I close my eyes, and I try to forget everything else: the loss of my mother, the loss of my childhood, and the loss of my freedom. I’m here with him now, and nothing else really matters.
If I close my eyes long enough, I kind of believe that everything else will just fade away and I’ll never have to remember.
I’ll never have to feel any pain.
Ever.
Again.
Chapter Ten
Harrison
SHE TASTES LIKE SUNSHINE and perfection, and all of the things I’ve always wanted in my life. I’m glad my dad blew off their meeting. Who cares if it was for some other stupid reason? Maybe he wanted to go to a business meeting or maybe he had some sort of thing he just couldn’t get out of.
I have no idea.
All I know is that my dad sucks, and being with Adalee makes me forget about that for a little while.
I have no idea how long we’re going to be able to hide this.
Not long, if I’m honest with myself. I don’t think the staff will nark on us. Not intentionally, anyway, but my father has eyes and ears everywhere. He’s got a hand in so many different things and if I’m not careful, he’ll pounce when I’m the weakest.
I don’t want him to find out about Adalee because I don’t want him to know she’s important to me.
When I was small, I had a dog that I loved more than anything else. I have no idea if Adalee remembers the dog or not. My dad knew that I loved it, and he’d use it as a weapon at every chance. If I wanted to go somewhere or do something, my dad would hold the dog over my head.
Oh, I hope Mr. Whiskers doesn’t get in an accident while you’re gone. That would be unfortunate.
Oh, I hope Mr. Whiskers doesn’t lose his food dish and starve to death while you’re gone.
Strange. You forgot to make your bed and Mr. Whiskers cut his paw on something sharp. He has stitches now and is in pain. I hope you don’t forget to make your bed again.
When my dog passed away, it was far too soon. He was only a few years old, and I never found out what happened. I just know one thing: my dad was behind it, and I hate that. I hate knowing that he was willing to hurt a poor, innocent dog just because he doesn’t like me.
He won’t do the same to Adalee.
I won’t let him.
If it’s up to my dad, he’ll hurt her or blackmail her. He’ll do one of these things. He’ll do anything at all if it means having me under his control, and I’m not as fucking stupid as my dad thinks I am.
So I kiss Adalee over and over, and I try to push away any other thoughts that are trying to sneak into my brain.
I kiss her because she’s perfect.